-originally written on 9/04/06-
What I want to see is a feud between Mickie and crew against Melina and crew.
It should go like this:
Melina decides that Lita isn’t worthy of that title, and she challenges her to a match. Melina wins by Victoria giving her a cheating helping hand.
Victoria immediately gets sent to Smackdown, and exchanged for Jillian Hall.
Melina and Lita continue their rivalry until Lita’s contract is up. Now it becomes Melina versus Mickie.
It starts out as Mickie (face) versus Melina (heel) and then they have the big showdown. Mickie has the upper hand when suddenly Beth Phoenix enters the ring and makes her reemergence and continues her vengeance against Mickie, and thus becomes an ally to Melina.
To farther certify herself as a heel, Beth and Melina will decimate her, and relentlessly stomp, kick, and annihilate her, leaving her as a lifeless heap on the ground. I wouldn’t mind seeing Mickie shed some blood in this; taking multiple chair shots, having Beth hold Mickie while Melina fires off one shot after another bloodying her face even more.
The only problem with blood in a women’s match is firstly it is ultimately rare. Secondly, it would involve a deep cut to a pretty face. And the thought of scarring Mickie’s cute little face is a horrible thought.
There will be talk of Mickie having to go to the hospital for her wounds etc. by JR and King.
In the meantime, Beth and Melina will come out to each other’s corner and help the other cheat to win.
Melina makes enemies fast, particularly with Candice. But Beth as Melina’s sidekick takes equal pleasure in bullying the other divas, and thus she makes enemies with newly drafted Jillian Hall (they’ve got to not only switch Victoria for Jillian, they need to get Torrie on Smackdown).
Beth and Melina continue their winning streaks beating up on Candice and Jillian (due to their cheating).
Meanwhile on Smackdown, Victoria, being the biggest and strongest of the divas, has been a totally dominating force in the women’s division over there. She plows through every opponent offered up to her, and she can finally lose this ridiculous jobbing-out losing streak she has been on forever now.
Mickie gets out of the hospital, is cleared to wrestle, and challenges both Beth and Melina in a handicap match.
Here is how the match should go:
*In this Match, a fired up Mickie starts off against Beth Phoenix and spends a few minutes in the ring dominating her with strategy and aggression, while Beth’s only offense is the result of her butch strength.
Beth eventually gets an opening and makes a tag to Melina. Mickie dominates Melina for the first minute or so, and then Melina pulls out a nice counter, and is able to turn the tables on Mickie. Then Melina tags in Beth, who, like a vulture, picks apart an injured Mickie.
Then it just becomes tagging in and out taking turns beating the hell out of Mickie, who at this point is unable to mount any offense or defense, and exists as a helpless rag doll, like the previous double team mugging they performed on her.
Then out comes Candice Michelle, who is fed up with Melina, and begins pounding away at Melina, getting Mickie disqualified, but ultimately for Mickie’s own good. But Beth joins in, and the two on one assault takes Candice down and they begin decimating her. Then comes in Jillian Hall to help her fellow victim of the Melina & Beth team- Candice.
Candice is already hurt, so she can’t fight at the moment. Again it is a double team from Melina and Beth. But before they can hurt Jillian too bad, Mickie James is back to her feet and burning with rage! She goes on the attack against Melina, allowing Jillian to start mounting some offense against Beth. Then Candice is back to her feet and the 3 of them over power Beth and Melina.
And thus a partnership between the three girls is made*
They can insist on a three on two match. Jillian, Mickie, and Candice versus Melina and Beth.
The match starts out as a squash match with Mickie’s team dominating Melina and Beth. Out numbering their opponents three to two, Mickie, Jillian, and Candice take their revenge on the two evil doers that have been causing so much trouble in the women’s division. Retribution and Justice! But not for long, Before a pin can take effect, Victoria makes her debut on Raw, runs into the ring and helps out Beth and Melina.
The ref rings the bell to disqualify Melina and Beth, but that doesn’t stop the fight. Three warn down girls, versus two very warn down girls and one fresh, turbo charged Victoria. Victoria, with a little help from a warn down Beth and Melina, destroy the three girls and leave them lying unconscious in the ring and they hold each other’s hands up triumphantly.
The three girls, lead by Mickie James, will exchange wins and losses against the three girls lead by Melina.
This three on three, the Mickie faction versus the Melina faction, allows for a lot of singles competitions and tag competitions. Three girls on the same team can comprise three teams of two.
Example: wrestlers A, B, and C can make up these three teams of two: AB, AC, BC.
So here are the combination of matches that can exist between the two factions: A, B, and C will be Mickie’s faction, X, Y, and Z will be Melina’s faction.
Singles Matches:
A vs. X
A vs. Y
A vs. Z
B vs. X
B vs. Y
B vs. Z
C vs. X
C vs. Y
C vs. Z
Tag Matches:
AB vs. XY
AB vs. XZ
AB vs. YZ
AC vs. XY
AC vs. XZ
AC vs. YZ
BC vs. XY
BC vs. XZ
BC vs. YZ
ABC vs. XYZ
19 matches and not a single repeat. All of which are perfectly justified through the main storyline. Not to mention you can repeat the A vs. X (Mickie versus Melina) on every pay-per-view, and on that same pay-per-view, have Mickie’s two girls face off in a tag team against Melina’s two girls.
Talk about the booking possibilities!
This thing can be stretched to Wrestlemania where Mickie finally wins the title from Melina.
This will allow Melina to certify herself as noted women’s champ, and a second title victory for Mickie at Wrestlemania.
Wrestlemania will mark the end of the great Mickie and Melina feud. I have lot’s of ideas for the women’s division post-mania, post-Mickie & Melina. But I’ll save those ideas for another time LOL.
Monday, November 13, 2006
My Idea For A Mickie And Melina Feud
Wrestling Revolution
The WWE is an empire verging on the term “monopoly”. Nearly all of the free televised wrestling is owned by the WWE. And the only alternative is TNA, which has taken a down hill turn by attempting to duplicate the mess that is the WWE.
Wrestlers, or “performers” as we might call them, have been reduced to actors who’s talent is completely irrelevant to their success.
Wrestling has gone from a circus-like act, imitating a sport, to being a Hollywood scripted soap opera written by B-rated soap opera rejects: those that didn’t have the talent to write a crappy soap opera are now writing the wrestling stories we see. No wonder today’s wrestling is enough to gag you.
A wrestling performer may be the most talented in the ring, maybe the strongest and healthiest, and may be the most charismatic and dedicated, but due to politics and blow jobs, they are kept on the bottom of the deck while disrespectful drug addicts without an ounce of talent are pushed to the top of the deck and crammed down our throats.
Wrestlers have been withheld mic time because their character isn’t supposed to be good on the mic. And those with no speaking ability have been given 20 minutes a night on the mic, reading a script, because their character is supposed to be good on the mic.
Porn stars with only a few months training are beating talented female wrestlers that have spent their life learning the craft. And the Smarks see it, don’t like it, but don’t have a choice.
The powers that be, the people who control the wrestling industry has said “This show goes my way. I don’t care what the fans want. The fans don’t have a choice. It’s our show or you go without. You don’t have an alternative.”
The wrestling industry is doing what they can to silence their employees from having non-sanctioned communications. No interviews not approved of by the corporation that owns them, and no contact with their fans outside of corporate sanctioned autograph signing.
One of the reasons most employees (wrestlers) aren’t allowed to have internet based communication with their fans is because they (the corporation) want to control who the fans like, and what wrestler is “over”. They don’t want their employees building a strong fan base; they want their employees to have the fan base they’re given by the corporation.
The corporation has gone beyond the desire to own and control their talents, to needing to own and control the fans. The corporation doesn’t want you the fan making your own mind up on who to like or dislike. You the fan will like who you’re told to like, and you will dislike who you are told to dislike.
If you don’t believe that, just take a look at all the performers that aren’t that big with the crowd, but were getting prime spots on the show left and right and pushed onto the people so hard until the heard instinct kicked in and the fans began cheering for them because it was the “in” thing to do.
Why does any given performer get a “push”? What is a push? A push is when someone is getting opportunities not befitting them in accordance with fan popularity. A push is when the fans don’t care about a wrestler, but the fans are going to be made to care, and there are various ways of doing that. Pushing a particular wrestler on the people is a crime against the fans.
Certainly the fans can’t dictate who wins a match. But shouldn’t the fans decide who they like? Shouldn’t a wrestler’s popularity be based on how well the fans respond to them? Why must the fans be forced into liking someone by the corporation giving that wrestler a “push”?
The marks will like who they are told to like. And they will like a particular character as much as they are told to like them. Only rebellious smarks will think for themselves and decide not to like them. And let’s face it, smarks don’t count.
The level of crime against the wrestler and the wrestling fan is at an all time high. We need a new corporation, a new company. If only I had the money, I would build this corporation, I would create this wrestling federation and it will be a revolution. A revolution to destroy the corrupt empire that currently dictates the business.
Power will be brought back to the performer and to the fans. And God as my witness wrestling would not suck again.
Perhaps we can call this new federation the WWWWWW- White Wolf’s Wacky World of Wild Wrestling. Hmm, maybe not. The name isn’t important!
First, let’s start off with some wrestling philosophy.
1. Wrestling is supposed to look real. Fans know it’s not real, but the best moments are when the audience can become so captivated that for one brief moment they forget it’s fake.
2. You don’t have to use the same trite finisher in every match to win. Finishers are great, but not in every match.
3. Just because a move is old doesn’t mean it’s no longer effective. How come the Sleeper Hold doesn’t put anyone out anymore? How come the devastating DDT and Pile Driver no longer knocks people out?
4. You can only go from heel to face so many times. So you should stay a face or a heel for as long as possible; only changing if one isn’t working, or if the fans are looking at you differently (heels slowly gaining respect).
5. If a face is white and a heel is black, let’s not forget there are a million shades of grey. Not everyone should be placed into a cookie cutter mold of “good” or “bad”.
6. Slim chances are slim chances; not probable and reoccurring outcomes. An example is the champion versus two other guys in a three way match. Due to the fact he doesn’t even have to get pinned to lose, his chances of winning the match, no matter how talented he is, is one in three. But I am willing to bet that in WWE and other top promotions, the genuine outcome is the champion retaining the championship nine out of ten times.
Another example is the battle royals. If you are one of the first ones to go in, you will typically be one of the first ones to go out. In other promotions, those who stay in the longest normally coincide with how popular they are with the fans. You can tell who the last guys are going to be in a battle royal; they’ll be the top heels and top faces.
7. Little guys beating big guys is pretty rare.
8. 1 guy beating 2 guys at the same time is virtually unheard of in real life.
9. Predictability in who wins a match creates a realistic perception of toughness- predictability in how that outcome is met creates boredom.
10. Wrestlers are performers; not actors. A wrestler’s rank in the company should be directly relative to his over all talent. What we see too much of is a person with no mic skills being given way too much mic time –because his character is supposed to be a good speaker- and wrestlers with great mic skills never getting the mic –because their character isn’t supposed to be a good speaker.
11. Flashy moves don’t make a good wrestler. A good wrestler is someone who knows how to work on the same level as his opponent. A good wrestler is someone who knows how to convince the fans he’s beating his opponent to death with stiff brutality, while in actuality being very easy on his opponent. A good wrestler is someone who can adapt to anyone’s style. A good wrestler is someone who doesn’t win every match the same way, and thus become a one trick pony. A good wrestler is someone who knows how to pace a match.
12. Magic burst of energy? Magical loss of energy? An example of a magical burst of energy is when a person gets placed in a sleeper hold, and after getting warn down to near unconsciousness, suddenly gets an adrenaline rush and they come back with a second wind and exhibit more energy than in the beginning of the match. How many times have you seen a guy that was warn down and dead on his feet get placed into the sleeper hold and you yell at the guy doing the hold “don’t give him the sleeper, hell that’ll wake him up and get him turbo charged!”
Another example of the magical burst of energy is in tag matches: the guy gets warn down, he’s dead on his feet, but suddenly he gets a burst of energy, fights back, throws his opponent to the ropes, and rather than taking three steps to tag in his partner, decides to follow through by putting his rebounding opponent in a spectacular move like a standing hurricanranna, and then lays there on the mat nearly unconscious, making his way to his partner with his hand out, crawling like a snail.
An example of the magical energy loss is when they are climbing the latter to get the belt, but with just two more steps to go, they suddenly hit slow motion, and… one… more… step… is… just… too… difficult. This has also been known to occur in cage matches while climbing over the cage, or out of the door.
In my federation there will be wrestlers getting second winds, and fast one move desperation reactions. But not on the level I see in today’s major wrestling promotions.
13. It’s ok for women to look and act sexy, but if they are in a wrestling promotion they need to be able to wrestle, and wrestling should be their primary function.
14. In a tag match, jumping in to kick the guy off your partner to break the pin fall should be disqualification.
15. Referees are people that are supposed to be able to stay out of the way of the wrestlers, and spot illegal holds, and most importantly see what’s going on. I think all WWE referees are near sighted and hearing impaired. The ref gets distracted by competitor A, meanwhile Competitor A’s buddies sneak into the ring and set up competitor B for a powerful knock out move, or just beat down. Then they hurry out of the ring and the ref sees the once standing Competitor B laying flat on his back, and doesn’t suspect the guys on the outside of the ring of interfering. Nor did he hear or feel the impact of the outside man coming in, and jumping off the top rope to annihilate competitor B. Point being that referees should be less blind, more quick to disqualify dirty fighters, and cheaters should have to work a little harder at cheating. Refs will continue to get knocked out, but it might actually take a pretty powerful impact to put him out. Staggering backward into a ref shouldn’t knock him out cold for 5 minutes; but wrestler missing his opponent and hitting the ref with a cross body, clothesline, spear, or drop kick would.
16. Run-ins and cheating ruin great matches. Too many times a great match is ruined by an outsider running in and causing a disqualification. What if half the matches were won by cheating, and the other half ended in disqualification because of outside interference? How many episodes would you watch before giving up on caring? If winning a match has nothing to do with skill and everything to do with external circumstances, the outcome of a match might as well be drawn from a lottery. Run-ins and cheating should be kept to a minimum. Cheating is great for entertainment, but not when it’s so frequent that it becomes the norm.
17. Popularity should not dictate a wrestlers wrestling ability. All too many times I see a wrestler win match after match against guys I both hate and love, guys who are talented and non-talented, guys who are in kayfabe tough and weak, and all because the guy is “over” with the fans, due to a gimmick or catch phrase. Also, if the person became “over” with the fans before he was turned into an undefeatable badass, then why change the formula. There have been too many times I really began to like a particular character, and others did as well, only to have it ruined by the fact the character has been turned into a goodie-two-shoes face that can’t be defeated, always runs to the rescue, never cheats anymore, and apparently is the toughest guy on the roster all of the sudden. A prime example was John Cena: a foul mouthed street tough punk with one hell of a mean streak, changed into heroic Eagle Scout, or a saintly marine just trying to do the right thing. Popularity should count towards how much exposure you get, and that’s pretty much all. One exception is with a new guy who’s character and toughness hasn’t been fully established.
18. Being naked shouldn’t be a career booster. I don’t think a “diva” should have her wrestling career elevated because her playboy sales are up. On a similar note, and also similar to #17, a female wrestler should not have their characters toughness decided by her looks; but rather by her in ring talent- or her physical stature (a tall muscular woman is bound to be tough). But again, a pretty smile and a nice rack shouldn’t be the decisive factors in becoming women’s champ.
*On a personal note: I really can’t stand it when women get naked for money, and get surgical enhancements when there was nothing wrong with the way they looked before. I mean a crooked nose, a scar or mole that stands out as hideous, being removed and fixed is fine. But going from a bra cup size C to DD, or having your lips puffed up is just pure shallow vanity. And then these surgically altered sluts actually go on about being a roll model. You want to be a positive roll model after going down that road, you better become a health nut, donate a kidney to save some kid’s life, grab a college diploma, and spend all your free time doing charity work. Maybe then we can over look your decision to be a surgically altered porn star.
19. A promotions management has to know when to listen to the fans demands and when to ignore them. You can’t know what your doing right or doing wrong if you ignore the fans. But at the same time you gotta realize that there is no satisfying an internet smark. Smarks will always have a gripe about something. Satisfying a smark is like satisfying a woman; it ain’t ever gonna happen.
20. Matches should not be interrupted by commercials. Put the commercials between the matches. It ruins the pace of the match, and therefore pretty much ruins the match.
Tag Team – Can only be won by a team of two.
Women’s Title – Can only be held by a woman.
Lightweight Title – Can only be held by a person no heavier than 205 lbs.
Middleweight Title - Can only be held by a person no heavier than 240
Heavyweight Title – 240.1 and up
In regards to weight classification, allow me to demonstrate which current WWE wrestlers would exist in any given division. You should note that if you don’t see a wrestler’s name in any of the divisions, it is because WWE.com doesn’t supply their weight on their profile page, or because I didn’t consider that wrestler to be a wrestler.
Light Weight Division: Rey Mysterio – 165 | Brian Kendrick – 175 | Funaki – 180 | Kid Kash – 199 | Jamie Noble – 202 | Daivari – 203 | Paul London - 205
Middleweight Division: Gregory Helms – 215 | Johnny Nitro – 219 | Carlito – 220 | Chris Benoit – 220 | Scotty 2 Hotty – 220 | Simon Dean – 220 | Matt Hardy – 225 | Shawn Michaels – 225 | Elijah Burke – 230 | Rob Conway – 230 | Finley – 235 |
Hardcore Holly – 235 | K.C. James – 235 | Idol Stevens – 237 | Matt Striker – 237 | Eugene – 238
Heavyweight Division: Edge – 240 | John Cena – 240 | Trevor Murdoch – 241 | Charlie Haas – 242 | Ken Kennedy – 243 | Ric Flair – 243 | Randy Orten – 245 | Shelton Benjamin – 245 | William Regal – 245 | King Booker – 250 | Sylvan – 250 | Stone Cold – 252 | Vito – 252 | Tatanka – 258 | The Rock – 260 | Triple H – 260 | Val Venis – 260 | Lance Cade – 261 | Chris Masters – 275 | Mick Foley – 287 | Batista – 290 | JBL – 290 | Gene Snitsky – 300 | Jake Gemeni – 304 | Jesse Gemeni – 304 | Undertaker – 305 | Sylvester Terkay – 320 | Kane – 327 | Umaga – 348 | Mark Henry – 380 | The Great Khali – 420 | Viscera - 485
In this scenario, you’ll notice more Heavyweights than Middleweights, and more Middleweights than Lightweights. In my wrestling organization I will not concentrate so much on size, and will instead concentrate more on skill. Also I will probably incorporate a lot more lightweights than WWE. Now add into the factor that just like in “amateur wrestling” the wrestlers will be struggling to make weight. This will inevitably create a lighter weight roster.
According to WWE, or at least by the statistics I have gathered from their website, the percentage of wrestlers that would fit into any given division would exist as such
Lightweight: 12.7%
Middleweight: 29%
Heavyweight: 58%
It is my plan to have the divisions contain this percentage of my roster
Heavyweight 22%
Middleweight 23%
Lightweight 18%
Women’s Division 17%
Tag Team 20% tabulated as individuals, or 10% tabulated as team of two individuals.
The average weight for a WWE wrestler (excluding the women) is 235. I want to shoot for 215
But to make things a little more interesting, people of different divisions may wrestle each other. And people of a lighter division may compete in, and possess the championship title of a division above their weight class; but not below their weight class.
In order, the following may compete in and possess the title of the division above them, but not below them.
Heavyweight
Middleweight
Lightweight
Women’s Division
A middle weight wrestler can compete in the Heavyweight division, but a heavyweight wrestler may not compete in the Middleweight division.
If a particular wrestler obtains the championship title, and then gains too much weight to be classified in the weight division of the title they hold, they may continue to hold that belt and compete in that division. Once they lose the belt, they cannot be granted a title rematch because they are no longer allowed to compete in the division they are too heavy for.
1. Around the world
This involves typically 5 people.
A wrestler starts in the ring, he is called the stable. There is a wrestler at each corner on the outside. The stable’s opponent is the person at the first ring post we’ll call them challengers. When the challenger wins, he becomes the next stable and the next challenger counterclockwise comes in and this continues until there are only two wrestlers left and whoever wins that, wins the match.
If the challenger loses to the stable, he is out and the next challenger comes in. If the stable defeats him as well, then comes in the next challenger and so on. If the stable can beat all challengers than he wins.
However, there is also a time limit per challenger. If the challenger is not victorious or defeated within 3 minutes, he returns to his corner and the next challenger comes in to fight the stable. Assuming the stable and the challenger keep running beyond three minutes, after the stable has survived all of his opponents, he gets to go to the corner of the next challenger, who now steps into the ring with the former challenger, who is now the new stable.
2. Time Tag
A member of each team starts off. After a set time, they are forced to tag out to their partners. This continues in intervals of X amount of minutes.
3. Playfair
A Playfair match is one that incorporates two additional referees at ringside who are to monitor the match to make sure no cheating takes place. Also, the two additional referees have the authority to run in the ring and count a pin fall or determine a submission in case the primary ref gets knocked out. If an additional referee sees a cheat, and feels that cheat is worthy of a disqualification, he may stop the match, point it out to the primary ref, and a camera’s replay may be used as evidence. If the primary ref feels it is worthy of disqualification than it will be so. Also, if a pin is counted, and one of the additional referees noticed a cheat or a rope break, he can point it out to the primary ref and use the camera’s replay as evidence. Titles will change hands on a disqualification.
No one’s manager or companions may be at ring side during one of these matches. Any wrestler interfering in the match or even showing up at ringside will be fired immediately.
This match will be used in the event that a feud cannot be resolved because the champion is perpetually cheating to retain the title. This match will typically end feuds because the former champion will not be issued a title rematch. So the playfair match is a feud ender. It is designed to show the audience once and for all who is the best wrestler.
4. Five count pin fall.
Instead of counting to 3, the count is to 5. This means a wrestler will pretty much have to be knocked out completely. No school boy rollups or grabbing the tights to steal one.
5. Timed match.
A timed match goes on for X amount of time, rather than ending in a draw, a winner is determined by a panel of judges like a boxing match.
6. Timed round limit.
Very similar to the above. But done by X amount of rounds lasting X amount of time. At the end of the round, any hold in progress will be forced to break. Perhaps “saved by the bell” would be a more appropriate name for this match.
7. Life Line.
A Life Line match is a tag match where each team gets one free call for his partner to come in and take his place without a tag needing to take place.
After telling the ref you want to use your life line, he signals for your partner to come in. You may not help your partner once he comes in. This means after you use your life line, you have to get out of the ring immediately; no 5 seconds double team.
Keep in mind that in my federation this jumping in to break a submission hold or pin fall, will not be tolerated. So any jumping in without a tag, and without your partner using the one life line the team has, will result in immediate disqualification.
8. Electric Funeral Match
Oh yes, this is the one I really want to see. Imagine a cage match, only the cage is electrified.
The four sides of the cage are not meant to be climbed. Each side has two layers of metal string. Instead of one solid wall made of crisscrossed metal wire, this will consist of negatively charged horizontal wire, and positively charged vertical wire, and will be set about an inch apart. When a wrestler is thrown against the metal cage, the first layer of metal wire will be pressed up against the second layer of wire. The opposite charges will create a lot of electrical sparks, but in actuality, not really electrocute the wrestler… that much. Make no mistake, you will get shocked, just not with a lethal or even near lethal dosage.
Pinfall, submission; no count out, no climb out, NO ESCAPE!
This match will be a great alternative to barbwire matches for the ladies.
There is this issue I have with the WWE and pretty much any top promotion. They work hand and hand with a wrestler, and when that wrestler leaves their company, they forbid that wrestler from going under the name they made famous.
This totally cheats the performer out of a career if he ever signs with another promotion. Can’t use the old outfit, can’t use the old name, can’t use the old moves, or even catch phrases. For many performers this totally kills their career and keeps them in constant servitude to the corporation that owns them. And I do mean “owns them”.
My solution is to allow the wrestler to leave with their character. They can take their outfit, their name, their catch phrases, gimmicks, and their finishing moves. They can use these in any promotion they join. But my federation will also have the rights to the character. Meaning I can build similar characters without fear of restriction. I can also show footage of matches that wrestler was in, without their permission.
But, when they go to other promotions, they may use their character in that promotion, no other wrestler may use those characteristics. And once the wrestler leaves a particular promotion; that promotion is not allowed to keep the character or rip off the character, or claim ownership, and or stifle the wrestler from using their character in other promotions, or preventing my organization from using the character. To put it simply: the wrestler and my organization will both have rights to the character; no one else. Get it?
And here is why I think it is so important that wrestlers be allowed to leave with their character. This is an old statement I made.
“Why should a wrestling promotion allow a performer to leave with their gimmick and character?
Because in most cases the product is a combined effort between the performer and the creative department, with most of the effort being done by the performer, and the creative staff over seeing it.
My best example is the Dudley Boys. They made themselves, they made their own gimmicks without any help from WWE or ECW. The only “help” they received from ECW was publicity; but not creativity. Then after WWE bought out ECW they put the Dudley’s on Raw. All the gimmicks that existed their was pre WWE, and invented by the Dudley’s; not WWE. When they left the WWE they could not call themselves Bubba Dudley, Devon Dudley, Spike Dudley, The Dudley’s, The Dudley Boys. They can’t call their finisher “3D”. Devon can’t climb the ropes, do the “Wazzzuuup” diving headbut. Bubba can’t shove Devon and yell “Devon! Get the tables!”
In other words, every single gimmick and catch phrase that they came up with that made them over with the fans, has been stripped from them. And now they exist as a very watered down version of what they were. We still call them The Dudley’s. We still call them Bubba and Devon Dudley. Because they’ve had a pretty long career with this thing as their gimmick. If they totally split up and divorced themselves from this gimmick, they’d have to start at the bottom of the latter again and probably wouldn’t be able to make anything of themselves.
In most cases the gimmicks and catch phrases are invented by the performer, the one that goes out their and gets their body beaten to a pulp for 5 years to make a name for themselves. Spends 5 years slowly developing and tweaking their character until eventually they just get it right and click with the fans. And then to have all of the name recognition stripped from them by pencil pushers, is simply wrong.”
To put it simply: my wrestling organization will take the women’s division very serious. To explain the problems with the women’s division in WWE and other top promotions, and my desired solutions, I will simply post a statement I made not too long ago on the subject. Keep in mind this was originally a response to someone else’s forum post, thus its context may seem a little off.
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I agree that the women’s division is taken as a joke. The women’s division for the longest time was a side show, comparable to midget wrestling. It wasn’t taken serious at all. The Fabulous Mullah was champ for 27 or 28 years. This was mostly because she wrestled once a year (if that).
So by comparison, the women’s division has gotten stronger. There were a few decent female wrestlers in the 80’s, but they can’t compare to the success of the women’s division in the late 90’s
In my opinion, it was Chyna and Lita that actually made people care about the women’s division. Chyna was as big as some of the cruiser weight males. She won the intercontinental championship. There were moments she beat the hell out of midcard level male wrestlers. She had a long and strong match with Jeff Jarrett, and Chris Jericho. She had a memorable match against HHH.
Lita did a lot because unlike Chyna, she looked very womanly, and was quite beautiful. She was also very acrobatic and had a ton of charisma. Chyna mostly competed against the boys. While this may have done something to earn female wrestlers a bit of respect, it didn’t do much to bring respect to the division. It was really Lita that brought women’s wrestling to a whole new level.
Also, Stephanie, Ivory, Jacquelyn, and Molly Holly also brought a lot to the table and made for a strong division. And yet it absolutely sickened me to see these women, their talent, and their craft, being mocked by stupid gravy bowl matches, bra and panties matches, bikini contests and other crap. It’s as if the WWE were purposely trying to degrade and belittle the women’s division.
Now you have these little models learning to feign a wrestling match after only a year (or less) of practice, and this totally degrades the division. These models getting in the ring and wrestling just takes away from real talent. And when women like Victoria are jobbing out to Torrie, it just ruins any chance of the women’s division having any respect.
Between the ridiculous mud wrestling matches, the skinny little models being thrown into the division, and The King with his “Puppies! Puppies! Puppies!” comments every 2 minutes, the women’s division is a joke. It’s nothing more than a big slumber party.
And so when the crowd of men witness a wrestling match between two women, with their fake boobs, dressed in their underwear or bikinis, and overly sexual persona, they imitate Jerry “The King” Lawler, and chant “we want puppies”.
It pisses me off! It really truly does. It’s a shame; an absolute shame.
And anyone but me notice that two women that were former enemies are always back to being friends with no explanation? It’s as if we are expected to just forget that two months ago these two girls were trying to kill each other. Perhaps the writing staff feels that because they’re women their fight was nothing more than a moody, jealous catfight, and they’ve cried and made up already. I just don’t know.
Again, it’s not the lack of effort to build a strong women’s division that upsets me; it’s the fact they try so hard to ruin it.
I don’t know why any woman would want to be a wrestler, knowing that WWE is the cream of the wrestling crop, and this is how they treat their female talent.
As much as I love wrestling, if I were a woman, and bumped into a trainer who wanted to train me to be a wrestler I’d have to decline. And when he asked why I’d turn down this opportunity to be part of the sport I love, and the money and the fame, I’d explain it to him like this.
“I’m going to have to work really hard, be a health nut, push my body to the limit and keep up a vigorous pace for a year or more before I ever step foot in a ring with an audience of 10 or more people. In a few years I might actually be putting on performances in front of small crowds of 50+ people. Then I might get a break and get signed to some independent promotion, stay with them for a few years getting my body torn to hell to put on a good show. Then after a total of 7 years of putting my body through hell, taking the most outrageous bumps, all in the name of fame, in an attempt to get signed to a major promotion, I end up in the WWE. Now I’ve hit it big time. All my wrestling moves, cuts and broken bones, and scars. All the acrobatics I’ve learned, and I will now spend my time mud wrestling playboy playmates, and having pillow fights while enduring cat calls and crowd chants of ‘we want puppies’. To me, the end goal isn’t remotely worth the hell of getting there. So no thanks.”
The WWE doesn’t have to try to build a strong women’s division; they just have to stop trying so hard to ruin it!
A long time ago, on another forum, I spoke about a particular problem that any male centered wrestling promotion is going to have with a women’s division. You can’t have just one woman’s match per show. Maybe an hour long show; but not a two hour show. You need at least two matches per night. And here’s the reason I say this:
If we consider a division to be declared by the existence of a title, than we have Tag Team, Cruiser Weight, European, Intercontinental, Hardcore, Heavyweight, and World.
7 divisions that any male wrestler can compete in at any time. But girls are confined to one title; one division. And thus any story line must force all female wrestlers into one story. You got one heel, one face, and maybe a heel posse and a face posse lead by the main heel and face. But there can never really be anymore than one rivalry in the women’s division because you only get one match or promo per show. Sometimes you get a promo and a match per show.
In order for character development and new rivalries, there has to be enough promos and or matches to incorporate more than just two women, or two teams lead by the top face and top heal. A total of two matches and two promos would allow for enough variation to build stronger characters, allow for changing of allegiance, and better storylines.
When I say two promos and two matches; I mean on the average. It could actually be three matches and just one promo; as long as there are four total segments dedicated to the women’s division.
Here is an example of what I mean. “P” will stand for Promo/Vignette, and “M” will stand for match/physical altercation. On any given night, one of these combos needs to be shown for the women’s division.
PPPP
PPPM
PPMM
PMMM
MMMM
If a women’s division is to ever be as strong as the boys divisions, the above formula needs to be the general guideline.
Also, I might be obsessed with Mickie James, but I have to credit Melina by saying I think she should get two performances per night. She ought to be a manager and a wrestler at the same time.
She is such a great manager, and from what I’ve seen in former promotions, she is a great wrestler. Since she is remarkably talented in both rolls, why not have her doing both rolls? After all, her valet roll doesn’t take a toll on her body and health, so it’s not like she’d be over worked.
What we need is, firstly, an alternative to the 140 channels on TV; and something like two million channels on the internet of exact (or nearly exact) quality. This would take all the power out of the propaganda masters who control nearly the entire world's media.
The second thing we need (pertaining to wrestling) is a company to create an internet channel through their website allowing people to subscribe on a monthly basis to be able to download all the material they want. Every show, every interview, training and so on.
I think this wrestling company should work their main talents two nights a week- thus there will be two shows a week. I think these shows need to range between 1:30.00 (90 Min.) and 2:00.00. If there are going to be commercials than these shows need to be 2:15.00 to 3:00.00
We also need to be able to download interviews. Not storyline/script interviews; but genuine -no holds barred- interviews with all the stars, including interviews with two rivals to talk about their feud and what direction they'd like to see things going in, or interview two tag teams members since they are a "team".
And they should charge like $15 a month for this service, or however much it takes to come out just over their expenses. Call it Smarkvision.
Merchandising will be the wrestlers salaries (pertaining to the wrestler the merchandise of sale was modeled after), and the companies profit will be that 1 or 2% profit they make off of the internet viewers. The cost of this Smarkvision will be only related to Server cost. A server configuration to store thousands of gigabytes and maintain a possible 325MBPS transfer minimum per subscribed Member will be the determining factor of the cost of Smarkvision subscription. Air time will be irrelevant; bandwidth will be the issue.
If 1000 fans paid $15 a month to be guaranteed a 350MBPS download at any time, that would be $15,000 would that cover the server cost? Probably.
Or perhaps the solution is to have the costumer pay by the amount of allotted bandwidth per month that he wants. This might mean that he buys 8,000 MB (8 gigs) of bandwidth, so he can watch all 16 hours a week of wrestling. Or he might only buy 2,000 MB (2 gigs) of bandwidth allowing him to see 16 hours of matches in low resolution. Or maybe he could buy 8 gigs and watch 16 hours of low-res wrestling, and watch 4 hours of hi-res interviews, 3 hours of low-res training/practice and listen to dozens of hours of our audio commentary broadcasting, and download pictures, and use a fan forum(s). Of course a premium plan could pay for 20 gigs, and he could watch pretty much everything that month had to offer in hi-res.
It is my belief that the television, newspapers, book publishing companies, and radio are dinosaurs and the only thing keeping it going is a multi-trillion dollar conspiracy by the rich elite (which just happen to be media masters) who want to make sure their combined trillions of dollars in media monopoly doesn’t go down the drain.
We need to murder the media industry and rebuild it in the image of "the people".
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Mickie & DX fan fic
This is a long read, so if you want to cut the reading time in half, skip the actual play by play wrestling which is written in blue text .
Mickie and DX
Hunter, Shawn, and Carlito are walking through the hallways approaching a food buffet. At the buffet is Mickie fixing herself something to eat. She’s cutting ham for her sandwich with a very dangerous and sharp looking knife. As DX approaches her, she takes notice and says “Oh hi. You’re D-X!”
“Uh… Yeah.” replies Hunter.
Mickie begins talking really fast and excited “Oh my God! I love you guys, you’re so cool. I remember when you sent that rooster to Mister McMahon and told the delivery guy that he likes cocks, and then you put all those fireworks in his limo for the fourth of July.” All the while she is swinging the knife around wildly with her hand gestures and they all keep flinching when she does some wild hand gesture with her knife-holding hand. She continues “and when you painted The Spirit Squad green, and then when you spray painted D-X on his plane, and then you…”
“Yeah yeah, we remember those things. Most of them happened just a couple of weeks ago.” HBK cut her off.
“Oh I’m sorry I must be rambling.” She adds.
With a flattered grin on his face, Hunter says “That’s ok..”
Mickie continues “It’s just that I’m such a big fan of D-X. I remember me and my grand pappy used to go to wrestling shows together, just to see D-X. That was… right before he passed away…”
Mickie begins to trail off and look sad.
It’s at this point they come to realize Mickie might not be all there in the head. Hunter says “I’m… uhh… really sorry to hear that” And he begins to reach for a cup of coffee or other refreshment. But before his hand makes it, Mickie slams her fist against the table and yells “Man! You know what really ticks me off though!?” Hunter jumps back from the over zealous knife wielding Mickie and shrieks out “whaaa! I… I… mean whaat… what ticks you off?” Carlito starts to take a few steps back along with HBK as he’s doing his one of a kind frightened look.
She continues, “What Melina did to Mick Foley a few weeks ago. As much as Mick cared about her and was even willing to join Mister McMahon’s special club; all for her. And then she turns around and stabs him in the back!” She makes a sharp stabbing gesture with the knife as she says “stabs him…” and again the DX gang flinches.
“You know what?” she continues.
Shawn stands there full of fright with his hand to his mouth, shaking his head “no”.
“Someone really ought to teach those McMahon’s a lesson. And furthermore, someone really needs to teach that backstabber, Melina, a lesson. What do you think!?” she turns to Shawn, using the knife as a pointer, just a little too close to his throat. So Shawn answers with a shocked “Yaaaah!”
Mickie looks at him puzzled.
Hunter says “Uhh, what I think he means is.. Yaaah! That would be a great idea. Someone needs to teach that hussy a lesson.”
“Exactly!” Mickie says shaking the knife back and forth as someone might do with their finger when scolding someone.
Hunter says “Uhh, Mickie, could I borrow that knife for a second?”
“Oh sure.” she replies.
Hunter takes the knife from her and when Mickie turns her back on him to face Carlito and HBK, Hunter places the knife into a nearby trashcan.
Carlito, on the far end of the buffet, safely out of Mickie’s range, asks “So what kind of payback do you think Melina should get?” while eating some crackers and pâté.
“Well maybe someone should push her down a flight of stairs. Or put green food dye in her shampoo. Or set her on fire or something. Hey maybe we could drop a piano on her, or toss her into a meet grinder and grind her up real good and mix her up with some pâté, and then feed her, now being evidence, to the camera crew. She always said she wanted to be ‘Raw’ material.” Mickie does the air quotes with her hands to emphasize the word “Raw”.
Carlito spits out the crackers and pâté
Shawn says “Whoa whoa! What’s this ‘we’ business. If you want revenge on Melina, you should get that revenge yourself.”
“You’re right. I should handle this all by myself. Well, see ya guys.” Mickie said, and then strolls off.
The moment she is around the corner Shawn says “jeeeeze!” Hunter wipes the sweat off of his forehead, and Carlito, finishes wiping his mouth, and says “She is definitely not cool!” Hunter adds “About as cool as a ticking time bomb” Shawn adds “Like Norman Bates on crack!” “About as cool as Kenny from The Spirit Squad” Carlito adds in. And they all start laughing.
Mickie Versus Melina
Mickie comes out enthusiastically to her boppy music. She wants to win this one and prove she's DX material.
The fans mostly cheer, some boo her, but her Mickie Maniacs so greatly overwhelm her critics that she doesn't mind the couple of ‘boos’.
She slides into the ring and tosses her hair, marches to the turn buckle, climbs up to the second rope and throws her hands in the air ecstatically- the crowd gives a huge pop.
She jumps off the second turn buckle with a spin, and there she spots the seriousness of her opponent; Melina.
Her man, Johnny Nitro, giving her some tips, and a vote of confidence. Melina's hard stare, spoke volumes of her hatred towards Mickie. But Mickie could care less. She wasn't in it for the popularity; she was in it for the kill. The only approval she wanted right now was that of DX. And she was sure they were looking on, and giving her their support.
Melina takes a step towards Mickie, and Mickie does the same. Another step and then another step, until they were face to face, or in the case of these well developed ladies, chest to chest.
Melina spoke first "You're nothing Mickie. You're no Trish Stratus. Your just some obsessive little fan, I shouldn't even have to face you, because you need to be in the crowd as a spectator; not in the ring as a competitor."
Rather than retorting with equal trash talk, Mickie decided to let Melina bring the words, and she'd bring the fight. And that she does. A sudden right hand to Melina's temple!
Melina goes down. Mickie starts to mount her, but the ref steps in front of her and yells "You wait for the bell!" He takes a step back and signals for the bell.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The match is officially under way. Melina has just made it back to her feet. Nitro is outside shouting at the ref that Mickie should be disqualified for that premature attack.
Mickie takes three quick steps towards Melina with an intent to deliver another right hand. But she's stopped short by a surprise kick to the gut from Melina. The unexpected kick doubles Mickie over. Melina takes advantage of the stunned Mickie, and grabs her face, and does a leg lift to the face. Not once; but twice!
The ref tells Melina to watch the hair. Melina reaches up to feel her own hair and says "Why? What's wrong with my hair?"
The ref, absolutely stunned by the question, says "Not your hair; her hair. Don't pull her hair again."
"Oh" says a slightly embarrassed Melina. She was a little embarrassed that she made such a blunder, but more relieved that there was nothing wrong with her hair.
The time spent talking to the ref was just the breather Mickie needed to regain her senses. Mickie, back to her feet, tackles Melina, mounts her, and begins one facial punch after the other.
The ref warns Mickie to open up her fists. Mickie, too furious to comply, continues the flurry of punches. The ref begins his five count; Mickie stops on three, gets off of Melina, takes a step back to show the ref she is now complying, and receives a brief admonishment from the ref.
Mickie takes a step forward and begins to reach down for Melina, but Melina grabs Mickie by the belt, and trips her up with her feet, causing Mickie to fall face first into the canvas.
Melina gets on top of Mickie and attempts a Camel Clutch-like move where she sits on Mickie’s back, with her hands around Mickie's chin, and pulls her head up and back, only without hooking Mickie's arms across her legs.
After a few seconds the ref asks Mickie if she wants to give it up. Mickie replies with a "Hell no!"
After about ten seconds of enduring this move, Mickie knows she has to make it to the ropes or she will have to give it up.
Mickie struggles and strains to make it to the ropes in front of her. Because Melina did not hook Mickie's arms (true Camel Clutch style) Mickie is able to use her arms to crawl toward the ropes, and to create leverage to get on her knees. Now on her hands and knees she crawls to the ropes grabs the bottom rope tightly. Melina immediately breaks the hold, and opts to stand up and begin stomping Mickie.
After a few stomps the ref warns Melina to back off because Mickie has the ropes. Melina knows this is the "make or break" moment of the match. If she can bust Mickie up bad enough, wear her down right now with a few more precisely placed kicks; Mickie will be too beaten down to put up resistance against her offence. So Melina ignores the ref and continues to stomp Mickie. The ref begins his five count; Melina breaks on four. The ref warns Melina that she is on the verge of disqualification. Melina turns on the charm and humbly apologizes to the ref, and claims to have just gotten too carried away.
Nitro on the outside yells "Come on Melina! You got her where you want her. Finish her off!"
And Melina plans on doing just that. Mickie crawling her way to her feet by grabbing one rope after another to assist herself, is grabbed from behind by Melina. Melina has her in a full nelson hold, she pops her hips and suplexes Mickie, while maintaining the full nelson hold.
Full Nelson suplex into a pin: this is the finish. Or so Melina thought.
The ref counts, one, two, and his hand was coming down for the third when Mickie barely kicks out! The crowd pops for Mickie's escape.
Melina looks at the ref and yells "Did I get it?"
"Two and a half!" replies the ref.
Johnny Nitro is furious! This jack ass ref has to be on valium or something!? That count was slow. He took two counts worth of time to bring his hand down on that third. Johnny lets his anger be heard "Awe come on ref! That was a slow count! What are you doing!? Can't you count to three or something? Did you forget what comes after two!?" He turns around to the crowd in the front row and says "You seen it, didn't you? That was a slow count. She had it."
Melina grabs Mickie, who is still laying face down on the mat, and pulls her up to her feet. Melina delivers a forearm, and then another. She backs Mickie into the ropes and then goes to toss her into the ropes on the other side of the ring. Mickie takes the first two steps in that direction, but holding on to Melina's hand, she reverses it, and clotheslines Melina, and they both fall to the mat.
Both girls slowly begin to make it to their feet. Nitro yells at Mickie "What's wrong with you Mickie? You’re cheating. You know that was illegal. You know Melina had you beet."
The ref tells Johnny to back it up, as he was getting to close to Mickie, who was using the ropes to pull herself up. Nitro takes exception to this, puts his hands in the air and takes a step back to show he is complying, and then yells back at the ref "Hey I'm just talking. I'm doing my job as a manager, why don't you try doing your job and counting to three next time my girl has this bimbo pinned!"
Mickie and Melina are both on their feet now with their arms in position for a lock up, and that's exactly what they do. They lock up and begin jockeying for leverage over the other. This is the kind of wrestling the ref wants to see; both competitors off the ropes, open fists, genuine grapples. He only hopes these two combustible women can keep it clean like this throughout the rest of the match.
The crowd begins to rumble, pounding their fists against the benches to rally either of their favorite divas.
Mickie, although busted up and warn down, gets the leverage advantage, and out muscles Melina! Mickie's got her second wind, and the adrenaline is rushing through her. She shoves Melina into the ropes and as Melina bounces off of them just two steps, Mickie catches her with a spinning spine buster!
The move was executed perfectly. Melina's body slamming into the mat horrified Johnny as he put his hands atop his head, and dropped his jaw.
Mickie, a little wobbly, grabs Melina by the hair and pulls her up to her feet. Completely ignoring the ref yelling about the hair, she throws a haymaker punch, landing it right on Melina's jaw. The ref was about to call for the bell and disqualify Mickie when Melina fired back with an equally illegal punch. The ref figured if their illegal blows are being kept even, no "one" person needs to be disqualified.
Melina and Mickie continue to trade about five punches each. Mickie, getting the better of them due to Melina only retaliating out of desperation. After Mickie's fifth and final punch, Melina had that look in her eyes like she didn't know where she was. Mickie grabbed her arm, and went to whip her into the ropes, but as Mickie had done before, Melina reverses it, throwing Mickie to the ropes instead. Melina takes a step forward and bends down with the intent on giving Mickie a back drop, but as Mickie comes flying off the ropes she catches a bent-down Melina with a head lock, and uses her forward momentum to turn it into her signature Mickie DT (a move that has got to be renamed).
The execution of the move was perfect, and Mickie was confident that Melina was out cold. "This is it" Mickie thought to herself "I just have to get up and cover her!
As Mickie sits up, with her back against the ropes, and the referee staring right at Melina, Johnny winds his fist back and punches Mickie in the back of the neck with everything he has.
The sudden impact and pain shocks Mickie, stunning her entire body. Tears well up in Mickie's eyes as she grabs the back of her neck. Her ears ringing, and her vision blurry and growing darker. Mickie fears she might pass out.
The crowd that witnessed this atrocity behind the referee's back begins to boo Nitro with great distain. Security had to hold back a couple of over zealous fans who were attempting to cross the barricade, no doubt to even the score on Mickie’s behalf. Even Melina fans were booing at Johnny's actions.
Mickie continues to hold the back of her head and neck, grit her teeth and squint her eyes, trying not to lose consciousness.
Johnny begins pounding the apron of the ring and chanting "Come on Melina! Come on Melina".
The ref looks over at Mickie sitting with her back against the ropes, holding the back of her neck, and clearly displaying a state of serious pain. He asks Mickie if she's ok.
Mickie croaks out with a pained voice "He hit me in the neck".
The ref looks at the only "he" in sight and yells "Nitro did you hit her!?"
Nitro acts shocked at this allegation, he throws his hands in the air and yells "No, no I didn't touch her. I'm Johnny Nitro, I don't hit chicks! I think she just busted her neck against the ropes from that DDT."
Mickie, now on her feet, in pain, and on wobbly legs, shouts at Johnny "You lying bastard! I'm gonna kick your ass!"
No sooner than Mickie issued this threat Melina reached over, put her hand between Mickie’s legs, hooked her thigh, and rolled her up for a schoolboy (or schoolgirl in this case) roll up. The ref didn't have the luxury of dwelling on the ordeal, he had to do his job and count a possible pin fall. And that he did. One, two, three!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
And it was all over.
Mickie was rolled up onto her shoulders and neck by surprise and her neck was just too sore to muscle out of the rollup. Mickie had failed DX.
Mickie lays there in the ring, too hurt to get up. Whether it was the physical pain or the mental pain, she didn't know. But she just laid there catching her breath while witnessing Johnny hugging Melina, raising her hand, and celebrating with her.
Mickie had failed to avenge Foley. Failed to beat a woman she absolutely despised. And failed to win one for DX.
The match was over. But Mickie's war was just beginning.
What Comes Around Goes Around
After the match, Mickie goes to her dressing room, changes her attire, and has one of the members of the staff medical team bring her a ice pack.
The medical staffer's name was Mike. Mike, looking at Mickie’s neck, says "Wow, that looks pretty nasty. Did you get the back of your head rammed into the turnbuckle?"
"No, I got it rammed into the fist of Johnny Nitro."
"You mean to tell me that Johnny Nitro punched you in the back of the neck?"
"Yes I do. Look, thanks for the ice pack. I'll be fine. And as for Johnny and Melina, what comes around goes around."
"Well, ok, I'll see ya later. Just page me if you need anything."
"Well actually, I was wondering. Do you happen to have any Indocyanine Green fluoroscopy dye, or any kind of angiography dye?"
"Fluoroscopy dye? Umm no." Mike answered with a puzzled grin "We don't have X-Ray machines nor do we perform fluoroscopic procedures or do angiograms."
Before Mike could ask why she'd want such a thing, Mickie then asked "Well, do you have any potassium permangenate, you know, Gentian Violet?"
"Uhh, yeah I believe I do. But why do..."
"I could use some of that. I got a bit of Candidaalbicans." Mike obviously didn't know what that was. How the hell Mickie knew, was beyond him. Mickie could tell he was oblivious to what Candidaalbicans was. "It's a fungus! And Gentian Violet is an excellent topical solution."
"But if you have... then why would you need the Indocyanine..."
Mickie shouts "Could you just get it already!?"
"Uhh, yeah sure." Mike said, and walked off.
Mickie, holding the ice pack to her sore, swollen neck, grins and says to herself "What comes around goes around"
Melina, proud of herself and her man, Johnny Nitro, for their win over Mickie, walks into the ladies showers. She has the place all to herself. Melina likes to wait that extra hour to make sure all the envious little bimbos have left. Why should these women get to lay their eyes upon my goods- was her philosophy.
In front of the large mirror at the beginning of the showers, Melina seen a bottle of body wash. She approaches the bottle curiously. Picking it up she reads the tag on it that is fastened around the top by a light purple silk ribbon.
The tag reads “The finest soap money can buy, for the sexiest woman God can make- Johnny Nitro.”
She smiles and says aloud “Awe, how sweet of him.”
She reads the bottle label; it reads “Purple Passion. An exquisite body wash and skin conditioner from Paris, with an aphrodisiac scent guaranteed to drive your man wild.”
“Sounds perfect” Melina thinks to herself.
She walks into the showers, turns the water on and waits for the water’s temperature to adjust itself just right before stepping in.
As she begins to apply this ultra deep purple body wash, she notices its unusual smell. It smells like rubber gloves sprayed with aftershave. “Not the best scent” she thinks to herself. “Perhaps it’s one of those specially formulated fragrance that chemically bond with the person’s skin and personal scent, and thus giving off a unique, one of a kind scent that could never be duplicated? Well, it did say it was the best money could buy.” Melina pondered.
She couldn’t wait to finish applying this stuff and experience a one of a kind smell. Her own unique pheromones chemically bonding with what must be a ten thousand dollar bottle of body wash.
She applies it thick, and rubs it in slow and deep. Still the smell was not the best. “I better rinse it off. Maybe after I remove all the excess soap, its true scent will come into being.”
Melina begins rinsing it off of her body, watching the deep purple liquid run across the floor and down the drain. There was just one little problem. All of the purple liquid finished running down the drain, but her skin remained a strong purple. It’s as if she was bathing in purple ink. It wouldn’t come off! No matter how much regular soap she used!
Panicky over the fact that her beautiful, naturally tanned skin, had become for all she knows, permanently purple.
She grabs a towel and begins to dry herself frantically when she looks at the mirror and sees written with soap “DX”.
She begins screaming in outrage and throwing every thing in sight! Shampoo, conditioner, towels, bars of soap, rolls of paper towels, you name it, she threw it!
The Next Week On Raw
It has been a full week since Mickie’s encounter with DX, and Melina becoming purple.
All three members of DX: Carlito, Shawn Michaels, and Triple H, are on their way to Vince’s office.
DX knew it was not going to be pretty, and that they were in serious hot water. But it was time to face the music. HBK knocks on his office door. McMahon yells “Who is it!?”
Dominos” Triple H replies. Shawn brow beats him for the joke. This was no time to get cute; they were in enough trouble as it was.
“Degeneration X, get in here!” barks an angry McMahon.
All three members walk into the wide space office with cream colored walls and black leather upholstery, and purple Melina…. Purple Melina!?
“Gyaaaah!” Yells a startle Shawn. Shocked at the sight of a purple skinned Melina, Shawn regains his composure long enough to say “I thought trolls were green?”
Melina growls and then screams “You! You did it!”
Triple H says “No! It wasn’t Shawn; it was Colonel Mustard, with the knife, in the study”
Melina’s face would have turned beat red, but with all the purple ink, it just came out looking a bit magenta. Melina started to growl again (the prelude to a screaming fit). McMahon intervenes and yells “Shut up! This time you’ve done it. I wanted to fire you weeks ago. Hell I wanted to fire you Months ago! But my share holders seem to like you guys.”
“Remind me to send those guys a Christmas Card” Carlito says with a grin.
“Shut up!” barks an angry McMahon. Then continues “as I was saying, I wanted to fire you, but my share holders said that despite your rude, lude, and down right criminal behavior, the fans tuned in to see you, and thus you guys were a gold mine. I tried to persuade them to let me fire you, but they said that your pranks against myself, and W-W-E staff would have to be tolerated as long as you bring in the ratings, thus bring in the money. But when you pull pranks on non-staff members, that is crossing a different line. A line that allows me to fire you. Your newest prank against Melina is justification for me to dismiss you. In other words you sons a bitches! YOU’RE FIRED!!!”
“Whoa whoa whoa Vince. This prank against Melina… we had nothing to do with it.” Exclaims Triple H.
“Oh really?” begins McMahon. “…and I suppose that you had nothing to do with placing fireworks in my limo, or chaining the rear axel to a wall either? I suppose it wasn’t you that reversed the pluming in my private bathroom? I suppose it wasn’t you guys who’ve been ordering pizza after pizza and having it delivered to my house? Talk about childish!” McMahon shakes his head in disbelief at these college pranks being pulled by employees that were once top dogs in the business. Then McMahon continues with more fervor “and I suppose you guys are totally innocent of tipping off the police that a drug dealer is driving around in my limo with 22 pounds of cocaine, and that I was caring heroin in my rear!? Do you have any idea how many anal cavity searches I’ve been through this month!??”
Both DX, and Melina and Nitro begin laughing hysterically.
“Shut up! Shut up all of you or you’re all fired!”
“You already fired us” says Carlito.
“Yes but I haven’t had security physically, and brutally remove you from this arena. In fact, I think I’ll have them do that right now.”
“Wait a minute Vince. As I was saying, this one really didn’t have anything to do with us. We never colored Melina purple. We were no where near her. We don’t even know how it happened.”
Johnny pipes up, “You guys put some kind of permanent purple dye in her body wash, and forged a card with it claiming it was a gift from me. You know you did it. You even wrote D-X on the mirror in the women’s showers.”
Carlito says “It wasn’t us, I swear. It was someone pretending to be a member of D-X. Like in the thirties and forties when random murderers would commit an act of murder, and then write K-K-K on a near by wall. It was done to implicate the Klan, and remove the heat from themselves. The Klan, with a reputation for violence, was immediately targeted, all the mean while the real crooks got away. It’s a matter of misdirection. It’s like going into a store dressed in nice clothes acting low key while your friends dressed like hooligans walk around making noise and goofing off so that the security staff is watching them while you’re the one doing the shop lifting.”
“I’m sure you’d know all about that; Thievery, vandalism. You’re a bad apple Carlito, I always knew that…”
Vince is cut off by Triple H “How did we get into the women’s showers? The hall leading to the women’s bathroom, showers, and dressing rooms is guarded by two men. Surely they would have spotted us and apprehended us, or at least called for backup.”
Johnny says “Hey, you know, he’s right.”
“Awe come on, you’re not buying this crap are you?” asks McMahon.
“Well security did say they didn’t see D-X or witness any strange behavior. They said no males had entered that hall.”
“That doesn’t prove anything. It just means these hooligans paid the guards off.”
“Hold on a second.” chimes in HBK. “I have an idea of who might’ve been behind this.”
“And who would that be” asks Vince, half heartedly.
“Mickie James. She said something about putting green dye in Melina’s hair to get revenge for stabbing Foley in the back. It’s not green dye, but it’s a similar prank as the one she was rambling about.”
Triple H says “Check the hand writing, Vince. Johnny said there was a card forged in his name. Compare the hand writing to us three and then compare it to Mickie James.
McMahon decides to humor them by looking at the purple body wash tag, and then selecting some manila envelopes from a filing cabinet.
“Can I use the bathroom? I had too much coffee, I really got to go.”
“Yeah, right through that door” McMahon offered. After all, this was the last time he was ever going to have to look at any of them again.
After several minutes of looking through these manila envelopes for papers with Carlito, Shawn Michaels, Hunter Hearse Helmsley, and Mickie James’ signatures on them, Vince speaks up “Well, there’s no doubt about it. This IS Mickie’s handwriting.”
“I think someone owes us an apology” says Shawn Michaels, returning from the bathroom.
“You want an apology!? You want an apology!? I’m sorry! I’m sorry I ever hired any of you. I want you three delinquents out of my office, out of my sight, and if at all possible, out of my life!”
DX leaves McMahon’s office.
“Well, that wasn’t a very nice apology.” Says Triple H.
“I wouldn’t worry about it.” says Shawn. He pulls out a tube of super glue and says “I glued his toilet seat. Bonds to skin instantly.”
They all start laughing. Triple H asks “Shawn, I didn’t know you had it in you. Isn’t doing something like that a sin?”
“Ordinarily; yes. But doing it to Vince McMahon is scoring brownie points with the big man.” and points to the sky, indicating God.
“What about ratting out Mickie James?” asks Carlito.
“Look, it was either her or us. Besides, what’s a crueler fate than setting Psycho Mickie against Vince?” responds HBK.
“Poor Vince.” Hunter says and shakes his head. “Let’s get some coffee.”
Mickie’s Meeting With McMahon
Torrie and Maria are in the nook of one of the halls talking about typical girly stuff when Torrie spots Mickie coming their way. "Uh oh, here comes psycho girl." quietly says Torrie. Maria and Torrie try not to make eye contact with her, but it's too late.
"Hi guys, what's up? You guys look great, what do you think of my outfit?" asks an over zealous Mickie.
"Uh, it looks great. Love the nails. The chartreuse nails really matches the mint-green of your outfit." says Torrie.
Mickie looks at her nails and then says "Actually the nails are spring-green, and my outfit is medium-spring-green."
Torrie, with a scared look on her face, says "I'm sorry." in a manner a child would after being caught doing wrong.
Mickie is actually wearing a black tank-top with horizontal medium-spring-green stripes, and a black cotton/polyester skirt with vertical medium-spring-green stripes.
"It's ok, they're similar colors. No need to get all broken up about it." Says a concerned Mickie. "I just got a manicure. I love my long nails. So I can scratch someone like a kitty cat."
Mickie turns to Maria, and paws at her face in a mock cat manner, and says "Raarrr!"
Maria screams and jumps out of her seat!
"What what! What?" asks Mickie.
"Oh she's just scared of cats."
"Yes I'm allergic to them, and so they scare me... and you kinda scared me with that cat imitation."
"Really. So where as most people with cat allergies sneeze, you screech?"
"Yes... yes I do. It's an odd condition."
"Yeah, I'd say. You might want to get shots for that... or… something?”
Coach interrupts this line of talk.
"Mickie. Just the girl I was looking for."
"Keep on lookin' 'cause it's never going to happen."
"Ha ha ha. Very funny. But I'll tell you what isn't funny. Mister McMahon wants to see you in his office immediately."
"Oh, ok. Well see you later girls."
Maria and Torrie wave "by" to her as she and Coach walk down the hall.
"Smooth move Maria." says Torrie.
"What? She could have torn my face off!"
"Due to my allergies I scream when someone imitates a cat?"
"She bought it didn't she?"
Torrie spots Victoria approaching them. "Oh god, we got rid of one and here comes the other."
Victoria marches up to them and says "You'll never believe what I got." She stabs the table next to Maria with a dagger! Maria screams and jumps out of her seat!
"What? What's wrong?"
"She's allergic to knives, they make her scream!"
Maria looks over at Torrie and says "Shut up!"
"Yeah ok, whatever. Anyhow, I found this dagger laying in the parking lot. It was just laying there. Isn't it cool? The handle is made of actual ivory."
"How did you get in here with that?" asks Torrie.
"Oh the security guy at the door, Dan, told me I couldn't bring it in here. So I turned on the charm and used my girly ways on him. And when that didn't work, I picked him up and dropped him on his head a few times. That worked. Of course Dan the doorman thinks is name is Bob, now. But whatever. Isn't this thing so cool. And it's got a little silver skull on it. Isn't that cute?"
Coach escorts Mickie to Mister McMahon's door. Gives it a knock, and tells McMahon that Mickie's here.
"Let her in!"
Mickie walks into the office, looks over to see Johnny Nitro and Melina. The moment Melina lays eyes on her she shouts "You bitch!" and darts for Mickie. But Johnny, keeping a cooler head, grabs Melina and tells her to calm down.
Mickie, with a pleasant smile on her face, looks at Melina and says "Oh hi there Melina. Wow, you look different, but I just can't put my finger on what it is. Did you do something different with your hair?"
"I'm purple you dumb ass! I'm freakin' purple!"
"No... no, that's not it. Oh you got new earrings. That's what it is."
Melina growls and says "Mickie... you bitch! You've gone too far this time. I'm red hot about this!"
"RED hot? You look more like purple hot maybe."
Melina squeals in rage and resumes her attempt to get at Mickie. Johnny is having more of a difficult time restraining her. Vince yells "Alright knock it off!" That puts an end to Melina's temper.
He continues. "Mickie. We have it on good authority that you are responsible for this." and nods his head to indicate Melina’s purpleness.
"Well, whoever's authority you have it on, must be fibbing." Says an innocent looking Mickie.
Vince continues, "I've compared the handwriting on the card that the purple dye body wash came with, and have concluded it's your handwriting can you explain that?"
Johnny grabs Mickie's hand and holds it up and says "And look! Her hand has purple all over it! You're caught red handed Mickie. Well, ok, purple handed, but you know what I mean."
"I was squeezing grapes to make some wine. And that card well. I think I'm being framed! They signed it with Johnny's name, but did so in my handwriting. I think Maria might have had something to do with it. She's been acting suspicious."
Melina chimes in before Vince has the chance and says "Oh come on Mickie. On the mirror in the showers, there was D-X written on it. You set this up and then wrote D-X on the mirror to implicate them. Besides. I don't think Maria knows how to spell D-X, let alone be this clever."
Melina's voice gets shaky at the end of her sentence and she starts to cry, and says "Look at me! I'm ruined. I can't go out in public, I can't wrestle like this. I can't bare the humiliation of all those people seeing me like this; it'll ruin me."
Mickie gets a sympathetic look on her face and says "Awwwe, Melina, don't be all sad. No need to feel all blue... or purple for that matter." That last part was said with a smirk on her face.
Melina screeches and lunges towards Mickie, but Nitro again is ready for it, and catches her, restraining her. He again tries to sooth her "Calm down. We're here to get revenge the McMahon way, you can't hit her. It's going to be alright my little plum."
"Plum!? You called me a plum!?"
"But Honey, I always call you my little plum."
"Purple! Plum! You're making fun of me!"
It suddenly dawns on Johnny that "plum" may not have been the best choice of pet names. He decides to back pedal and say "No no. I didn't mean it like that. You're not a plum. You're a... a.. muffin. A cute, sweet, little love muffin..."
"...covered in grape jelly." Mickie added.
Melina again jumps towards Mickie, with Nitro holding her back just in time.
"Enough! All of you knock it off! I won't have this kind of behavior in my office!" Shouts McMahon. "The way I see it, you two want revenge on Mickie. Well, I would give Melina any kind of match she wanted with Mickie with you by her side, Nitro. But Melina says she can't be seen in public looking like this. So there is only one solution! Nitro, it will be you versus Mickie James tonight!"
The jaws of all three of them hit the ground. Then Mickie breaks the silence by saying "No way. I'm not going to fight Nitro! This isn't fair. This is just a mugging."
Johnny, who isn't really sure he wants to be the guy known as the woman beater, pipes up and says "Yeah, putting me in the ring with this little stick figure would be suicide. I'd break her in thirty seconds. Besides, I don't want to be known as a bully who beets up on helpless little girls."
Vince opens his mouth but before he can speak Mickie says to Johnny "Little girl? Stick figure? Thirty seconds!? If you're that confident, why not put that intercontinental title on the line?"
Melina and Vince look at Johnny. Johnny says "What? You want a title shot? That's crazy!"
McMahon says "Now wait a minute. You said yourself that she doesn't have a chance in hell of beating you. And certainly, you're not afraid of a girl. Considering the beat down you're going to give her in front of all those people. This match would be a little more dignified if you put your title on the line for it."
"Ok. Fine, I'll put my title on the line. It's not like she's gonna last longer than a minute." Johnny says with a cocky grin. Also, the very idea of her man going in there in destroying Mickie, puts a smile on Melina's face as well.
Vince looks at Mickie and says "Well Mickie. If I were you, I'd get ready. Your match begins in a half an hour."
As soon as Mickie walks out of McMahon’s office she is greeted by a gloating Coach. A little ticked off over Mickie’s earlier put down in front of the other two divas, Coach has taken great pleasure in Mickie’s suffering and decides to rub it in. He says with a grin, “So, boss bitched you out didn’t he?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Did he fire you? Because I told him you were a loose cannon, and how rude you are to the W-W-E staff.”
“You’re upset because I rejected and embarrassed you in front of Torrie and Maria. Awwe, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelers.”
“Ha ha. Very funny. I’ll tell you what else is funny. What’s funny is when I get the divas to sign a petition to have you thrown out of the company. You see Mickie, I’m not the only person here who doesn’t like you. You don’t have a friend in the world. At least not in this business. Your idol, Trish, thinks you’re a homicidal stalker, the rest of the divas think you’re just plain mental. So enjoy your stay while it lasts, because You’re not going to make it another month.”
“Actually, I’ll tell you what’s really funny. You standing here trying to insult me and embarrass me, all the while your zipper’s down.”
“What!?” A startled Coach quickly looks down to check himself. As he is bent over just perfectly, Mickie hits him with an equally perfect uppercut, breaking his nose.
Coach yells and grabs his bloody nose in pain. Mickie kicks him right in the nuts! Then she grabs him by the face and by the back of his belt and runs him down the hall about 10 yards and slams him face first into a large flight case on wheels.
She then gets behind the flight case and begins pushing it farther and faster. Coach just begins to realize that he is laying on something, and that something is moving down the hall at a fast rate. Too stunned to get off of it, he just lays there on his belly hollering in fear, especially considering that there is a stare case only a few seconds away.
Meanwhile, nearby, DX is in the coffee room. Carlito finishes placing his money in the apple vending machine. Takes a bite of his new apple, spits it out and says “This apple is old. I’m talking like Fabulous Mullah old.”
“Yeah, those apples in this arena are always old and rotten.” says Shawn.
“Why doesn’t the apple delivery guy, or produce guy, or whatever he is, give us fresh apples?” Carlito asks.
Shawn replies “Well he does every week. But you see, he puts the new apples on top of the old apples. So by the time you get to the new apples, they’ve gotten old. And the process repeats itself forever.”
“That’s crazy. So what can we do about it?”
Hunter pipes up “Well, one possible solution is to buy up all the apples at once, that way when the apple delivery guy adds the new apples, they’ll be right there.”
“That’s a good idea.” Says Carlito.
But then Hunter adds “However, that was tried a long time ago. Unfortunately when we bought up all the old apples, the apple vending guy just assumed that the old apples were such a great sale, that we must love old apples, and decided to deliver more old apples.”
Carlito’s mouth opens wide, and he says in disbelief “You’re kidding me!?”
“Yes. Yes as a matter of fact I am. That joke has been around since the dawn of the apple and produce vending machines.”
Shawn and Hunter both start laughing. Carlito smirks and says “Very funny guys”.
“You know Shawn, I am so glad we got some youngin’s back in D-X.”
Carlito just smirks and shrugs it off. If you’re going to be the butt of somebody’s jokes, it might as well be a DX joke. Carlito opts for a medium cup of decaf coffee.
Hunter decides on a large regular Coffee. He loves these cups, Styrofoam with a snug safety lid. Damn environmentalists making everybody use thin waxed paper cups now days. They decide to take off and go see what other trouble they can get themselves into.
DX is walking down the hall and comes to a turn. As soon as they make the turn they see Coach zipping past them. They jump back out of the way just in time to see him and the flight case take a flight down the stairs.
Shawn runs over to the top of the staircase, looks down at Coach and the wreckage, and says “Watch that first step Coach, it’s a doozy”.
The Second Meeting With DX
"I tell ya, this place just keeps getting weirder." says Carlito.
"Speaking of weird; what are we going to do about Mickie James? I mean Vince will deal with her, but I doubt she's going to get fired. Which means we're going to have to continually put up with her." asks Hunter.
Carlito ponders for a moment and then says "Well, we have to find a way to tell her she isn't a member of D-X."
"Tell who they're not a member of D-X?" asks Mickie, who’d been walking down the hall to see if Coach was dead.
Carlito turns around to see Mickie standing right behind him. He yells in fright and jumps into HBK's arms.
"What are you doing? Get off of me." Shawn says as he sets Carlito down.
"What's wrong with him?" Mickie asked.
"He's had too much coffee, he gets all jumpy." Explains Hunter.
"Yeah, I get all jumpy when I've had too much caffeine, that's why I'm drinking decaf."
"Yes, yes, he is drinking decaf." Shawn says in support. Shawn doesn't like to lie, but technically the part about Carlito drinking decaf is true.
"Anyhow, who's not a part of D-X?"
Shawn stutters for a moment "Duh, uh, erm, uh.."
"
"Oh. Good. For a moment I thought you might be talking about me." Mickie breaths a sigh of relief, then continues "Yeah, poor
HBK says "Oh, no, we certainly can't have that. No crazy people. That's a good policy."
"Hey that prank I pulled on Melina. It was awesome. She's all purple... like a Smirf, only I think they were blue. Anyhow, someone ratted me out. Vince told me that he had it on good authority that I did it. So I'm wondering, what 'good authority' could he be talking about? Whoever it is, when I find them... I swear I am going to kill them in the most horrific way!"
Triple H then yells "Oh god!" and jumps up in Shawn’s arms. Shawn puts him down and says "Will you people please stop doing that. Especially you, big guy."
"Oh sorry." Triple H says as he regains his composure and leans against the banister of the steps Coach went head first down. He then peeks down the steps to see Coach motionless in a pile of wreckage. "He might be dead. Oh well, no big loss." he thinks to himself.
"What's his problem? Too much coffee too?" Mickie asks referring to Hunter's jumping into Shawn's arms.
"Uh no. With him it's a lack of caffeine, makes him all jumpy." Shawn explained.
"Hmm, interesting. Carlito gets jumpy when he has had too much coffee, but Hunter gets jumpy when he doesn't have enough. Sort of reminds me of that story with the three bears and one bowl of porridge is too hot and the other's too cold, and... I'm sorry what was I talking about? Oh yeah, umm, coffee. I could use some coffee. Of course the caffeine always makes me a little crazy."
"Here have mine!!" Carlito says "It's decaf. This way you get nice hot coffee, and no craziness." He says with a scared grin.
Mickie takes a sip and says "Mm, not bad. Hey, what did you guys think of the prank I pulled on Melina. Like I said, she's all purple like a... purple Smirf."
Hunter cuts her off "Uh yeah, we already covered the purple Smirf thing. But marking the mirror with 'D-X' wasn't so cool. You see Mickie, you're not really a member of D-X..."
"I'm not!?" says a startled, scared looking Mickie. "I... I'm not accepted by you guys?" she says with tears starting to form in her eyes. "You mean you don't want me... Oh God!" she says and squeezes the cup of coffee and it busts and runs down her hand and on to the floor without her so much as flinching over the hot sensation.
HBK sees this and he too yells "Oh God!" and jumps into Carlito's arms.
"Hey, I thought you told us to stop doing that?"
"I told you two to stop doing that to me. But hey, I get at least one shot. And this is the end, we're all going to die now!"
Carlito sets him down, but Shawn continues to have his face buried into Carlito's shoulder.
Mickie, only slightly distracted by Carlito and HBK, continues "It hurts to be rejected. I remember when I was a little school girl, and I wanted to be a cheerleader so that I could hop around and cheer for the boys and fill the school with team spirit... and the head cheerleader, Megan, told me that I was fat and looked like a drowned mouse, and I was too ugly to be on the team, and oh god how it crushed me." Mickie said full of tears and shaky.
"Please don't cry, Mickie." says a concerned Triple H.
"Or go on a killing spree." says a muffled Shawn Michaels, who's face is still buried in Carlito's shoulder."
"Don't be mad." continues Hunter "Sure the pain of rejection hurts at first, but eventually you get over it and you're the stronger for it."
"Yeah. You're right. The pain of that rejection did go away. And I didn't care about becoming a cheerleader anymore. I just couldn't even think about cheerleading after Megan, the head cheerleader died."
"Died!?" asks a nervous Carlito
"How.. how did she die?" asks a squeamish Triple H
"She was stung by a bee. She had an immediate allergic reaction and died. Very few people even knew she had a deadly allergy to bee stings. So it was just such a surprise to everyone."
The DX gang breaths a collective sigh of relief upon hearing that Megan's death wasn't foul play. They were fearing that Mickie was the cause of her death.
Mickie continues "It was kind of odd though."
"How so?" nervously asks HBK.
"Well, because the bee that stung her was a Xylocopa virginica, also known as an Eastern Carpenter Bee. They don't live in The North American region naturally, and only the female can sting. The female almost never leaves the nesting area; it's always the aggressive acting, yet stingless male that people see."
"Wow, you sure do know a lot about bees." says Shawn.
"Yeah, well, my grand pappy was a bee keeper at the time, and we had plenty of bees, including the Xylocopa virginica. He taught me all about them."
The DX gang turn pale white, as they realize that Mickie “the queen bee” James, may have diabolically arranged Megan's stinging. If Mickie could pull something like that off, It shouldn't be too hard to pick off the members of DX one by one.
Triple H decides, something has got to be done. He doesn't want his car exploding when it starts, or being bitten or stung by an exotic bug. So he says "Look Mickie, you're not being rejected."
"But you said I wasn't a member..."
"Well, you're not technically a member yet. You're on the members-to-be list. Yeah, like we told you last week; no matter how cool someone is, you have to be initiated and that process takes time. Consistent match wins, and time... Lots and lots of time."
"So I'm not rejected?"
All three members of DX say "No no."
Hunter says "You're certainly not rejected, you're pretty much a member. I mean your like a trial member. And if you're a good girl, I'm sure when your trial period ends, you'll be a full member of D-X, and you can go around telling all the other divas, the loser divas, that you're a member of D-X."
"Oh cool. How long is my trial period?"
"Uh.. well, it's a secret. We can't tell you how long it is. But you shouldn't worry about that."
"Oh, ok. Good. I'm glad I wasn't rejected." she says while wiping a tear from her cheek, and continues "I've always had this major problem with rejection. Like when Trish rejected me."
They all remember how well that went, and the memory forms a grimace on their faces.
"I think it all stems from the way my mother rejected me."
HBK says "Your own mother rejected you!?"
"Yeah, when I was only about seven years old. She didn't want to have anything to do with me. She told my father that there was something wrong with me, that I was some how evil. I know, that sounds ridiculous. I know now that it was my mother that was psycho. But when I was young I really believed what my mother said. And so I worked so hard to try to prove I was a good girl. But she died before I ever had a chance to prove I was good. It scarred me for life. And now, I just can't handle rejection very well."
Carlito says "Oh wow. That's so sad. She died before you ever had a chance to prove what a good person you were. Yeah I can see how that would scar someone. Out of curiosity, how did your mother die?"
"It was the weirdest thing. Apparently she mistook arsenic for sugar when she made her coffee and died of poisoning."
Triple H, who was in the middle of taking a big sip of coffee, spits it out all over Shawn and Carlito.
"What the hell? Are you ok?" asks a concerned Mickie.
"Yeah!" chokes out Triple H, "I just swallowed the coffee the wrong way. Maybe it's a sign that I need to give this stuff up."
He tosses the large cup of hot coffee over his shoulder, down the stairs. Suddenly they hear "Aww! Aww! Awwww! Hot Hot Hot!"
Apparently it had landed on Coach the moment he was recovering and making his way to his feet.
"Well I guess he's not dead after all." says Hunter.
“That’s a shame.” says Mickie.
"Awwwch my eyes. Scolding hot! My eyes my eyes!" continues Coach from the lower floor.
"Look I'd love to stay here and chat. But I only got about five more minutes before my match. I'll see you guys later."
Mickie Versus Johnny
We begin with Lilian Garcia announcing the match "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, it is an intergender singles match for the intercontinental title. Introducing first the Champion, hailing from
Nitro comes out in his normal cocky arrogant entrance. He gets mostly jeers from the audience with only some cheers coming from the ladies. With confidence he swaggers his way down to the ring.
Then Lilian announces "And the challenger, from right here in Richmond Virginia, weighing in at one hundred and twenty six pounds, standing at five foot four inches, Mickie James!"
Mickie comes out bursting with energy. Her energy is partially the result of the crowd giving her such a warm welcome, and partly because she is very nervous going into this match. Normally she would walk into a match confident that she's coming out the winner. But in this case, the cards are really stacked against her and she knows it. But none-the-less, she isn't about to show fear to an opponent, no matter how much bigger or stronger they may be.
King: J-R, you got to wonder what Mickie must be thinking going into this match.
JR: I'll be honest, I really don't know what's going through her head at this moment, or any other. Mickie James is an odd one to say the least.
King: Well I just have to wonder how Mickie intends on approaching this match. Nitro has about a hundred pounds and one foot advantage on Mickie, and let's not forget the simple fact that he's a man.
JR: Believe me King, it hasn't slipped my mind. And I'll be honest, I just don't like the idea of this match. I know Mickie's a strong and well accomplished female wrestler, but for goodness sakes she's still a girl, or woman as it may be.
The bell rings, and the match is officially underway. Johnny looks at Mickie with a smirk ear to ear. He slowly approaches her prepared to lockup. Mickie locks with him and pushes and struggles to get a waste lock, or any kind of grapple. Johnny shoves her back with tremendous force. Mickie falls backward and to the mat and even rolls once. Johnny stands there and laughs at her.
Mickie out of no where darts towards him with a Double Leg Tackle Takedown (Spear). The suddenness of this had Johnny completely unprepared, and the force has him slammed back and on the canvas. Mickie, on top of Johnny, begins hammering with right hands. Johnny, still taken by surprise, is only able to cover up as a defense.
The ref warns Mickie that she needs to open up her hands. When Mickie doesn't comply, he begins giving her the five count; Mickie breaks on three. She gets off of Johnny and as he rolls over to his side she begins stomping on him.
After three vicious stomps Johnny is able to regain his senses and make it to his feet. Mickie gives him a Flair-like knife edge chop to the chest once, twice, but her arm is grasped by Nitro when she attempts the third.
Johnny gives her an Irish Whip to the ropes, bends down in preparation to give her a Back Drop, but Mickie comes off the ropes and kicks him in the face!
Johnny grabs his mouth and straightens up. Mickie does a quick Fireman's Carry Takedown, landing Johnny on his back. She immediately lifts his head so that he's in a sitting up position and applies a Sleeper Hold. Normally this is where the crowd would cheer and encourage the victim of the move to power out of it, but in this case the fans are hoping that Johnny goes night night.
No such luck. After only thirteen seconds Johnny is able to power out using brute force.
As Johnny turns around he is met with a straight right from Mickie. Johnny returns a straight right of his own, knocking Mickie back a step. But she comes back with another right! Johnny returns the favor again with a right of his own that knocks Mickie to the floor.
JR: As you can see, Johnny and Mickie trading blows. I don't think Mickie should try going toe to toe with Johnny Nitro.
After Johnny's last shot, that knocked Mickie down, he quickly gets on top of her for the cover. Mickie kicks out at one.
Johnny grabs her by the hair and pulls her up to her feet. The ref warns Johnny to let go of her hair.
Johnny delivers a standing clothesline. This puts Mickie on her back, and Johnny goes for the cover again. And again Mickie kicks out, this time on two.
Johnny pulls her up to her feet yet again by the hair, and yet again the ref issues another warning about it that falls on deaf ears. But this time Mickie suddenly pushes away his hands, punches him in the jaw, and then grabs him, quickly rolls him into a pin via Small Package. The ref actually gets to a two count before Johnny kicks out.
Johnny, after nearly getting pinned, is furious at Mickie. He's more furious with himself for allowing that to take place, but Mickie is conveniently there to take it out on. Making it to his feet he furiously charges Mickie, who gives him a Hip Toss! He jumps back to his feet, turns around just in time for Mickie to execute an Arm Drag.
This time Johnny rolls away from Mickie and then stands up cautiously. The last thing he is doing is rushing her blindly and getting flipped to the mat again.
He approaches Mickie with a look in his eyes like a lion that just spotted his pray. He and Mickie lock up. Johnny slips around behind her with a waste lock and gives her a German Suplex. Mickie lands on her back and the back of her head pretty hard, but no more so than at the hands of any woman that has executed a German Suplex on her.
As Mickie is making it to her feet, Johnny grabs her arm, wrenches it counterclockwise, then gives her a hook kick, knocking Mickie back down.
He casually walks up to her and drops a knee to her face. Then he takes a step back and then forward for a leg drop. He executes it perfectly. Johnny is now confident that he can get the pin. He goes for the cover, but only gets a two count. He lays on her again with his forearm and elbow pressed against her face and hooks her leg. This time he only gets a one count.
He picks her up off the mat, mostly by her hair again, and does another Arm Wrench to Hook Kick. But this time Mickie ducks the kick, reaches forward with a Waste Lock to an unsuspecting Johnny, quickly lifts him up and drops him lap first across her knee for an Inverted Atomic Drop!
This has Johnny bent forward, holding himself. Mickie applies a quick DDT. Then she goes for the cover. She only gets a two count.
This time it's Mickie picking Johnny up to his feet by his hair. She executes a quick Snapmare into a Sleeper Hold. But Johnny is able to make it to his feet, and quickly reverse their positions so that he is behind her with an applied Waste Lock. He slips his hands up to put her in a Full Nelson.
Mickie struggles and strains to get out of the hold, but she just can't break Johnny's grip.
After a full minute of futile struggling, and the crowd behind her, Mickie drops quickly for leverage to bend her knees, and kick herself up, then using all of her abdominal muscles she is able to jump and flip her body up to a vertical position. Her feet now above Johnny's head, she falls to her butt while grabbing hold of Johnny's head, creating a super Jaw Breaker.
JR: My God! Talk about a reversal. That not only broke the hold, I think it may have broken Johnny's chin.
King: You're not kidding. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen that reversal pulled off.
JR: Improvisational and tough, Mickie has a chance for a cover here. Awe! and a kick out on two.
King: Mickie almost had him.
JR: Well folks we'll be back after this commercial break.
After Johnny's kick out, Mickie decided to give him an elbow drop, and then goes for a second cover, only to get another two count.
Mickie pulls Johnny up to his feet, and then wrenches his arm, and delivers an elbow smash to his shoulder. Johnny hits the canvas. Mickie immediately applies a reverse arm bar.
After having the Reverse Arm Bar applied for about a half a minute, Johnny is able to break out, utilizing his strength advantage.
Once he breaks out and gets to his feet, he and Mickie lock up yet again. Johnny easily backs the weaker, smaller, Mickie into the corner. Once her back is against the turnbuckle he begins a series of Shoulder Thrusts. Each thrust to her abs makes it harder to breath and risks breaking one of her ribs. The ref forces him to break it right before the count of five.
Johnny backs away from Mickie. He sees Mickie slumped over in the corner and decides to take a few more steps back for distance, and then charges the corner to splash Mickie, but she moves out of the way just in time, and Johnny slams chest first into the turnbuckle, staggers backwards, and Mickie, now behind him, gives a School Girl Rollup. Unfortunately, only a two count.
Mickie pulls Johnny up on his feet, and then whips him to the distant ropes, but Johnny reverses the Irish Whip and sends Mickie flying into the ropes. As Mickie ricochets off the ropes, Johnny charges after her and hits her with a Shoulder Block.
JR: My God! That was a car wreck. I think Johnny just broke every bone in her body.
King: Welcome back to Monday night Raw, for those of you who just joined us, we are in the middle of a singles championship match with Mickie James, and current champion, Johnny Nitro. Nitro has just hit Mickie with a Shoulder Tackle from hell. And he's going for the cover! I think this is it J-R!
JR: She kicked out! She kicked out! I thought for sure that was the end for Mickie James, but she's a lot tougher than I gave her credit for. And this match continues.
Mickie had just kicked out a heart beat before the three count, and did so with all the air knocked out of her. Unable to breath she just lays there struggling to get some air in her lungs.
Johnny, completely shocked, grabs her, scoops her up and slams her to the mat. Then takes a few steps back, takes a couple of steps forward, jumps and delivers a fist to Mickie as she lay there on the canvas.
Johnny begins to go for the cover, and as the referee counts to two, Johnny jerks her head up. He smiles at the audience, who jeers this action, shakes his head "no", and then pulls her to her feet, and gives her a Belly To Back Suplex which lands her clear across the ring.
JR: Awe come on! He had her right there. What is this idiot doing? This match should have been over.
King: I think Johnny wants to exact some revenge on behalf of Melina.
JR: Yeah, big man he is. It’s sick, King, it’s just sick.
With a grin on his face, he steps outside the ring, walks across the apron, climbs to the top rope, and gives Mickie a Frog Splash. But Mickie rolls out of the way just in the nick of time!! She's got some air in her lungs now! She staggers to the corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle, looks at Johnny laying face down, and jumps off giving him a leg drop!
Mickie's leg landing perfectly across the back of his neck. Mickie rolls him over on his back and goes for the cover. But Nitro kicks out, and quickly makes it to his feet.
Mickie reaches for him but he blocks her grasp and positions himself behind her, and gives her a Back Drop.
Mickie, surprisingly, is able to make it back up at nearly the same time Johnny does. She gives him a sharp chop to the chest! Followed by another one, and another one. Then Johnny delivers a chop of his own. And Mickie delivers one. They would go on to exchange three more chops each, with Nitro being the winner as Mickie drops to her knees, holding her raw chest.
Nitro grabs Mickie by the hair, throws her face into the mat. He then begins stomping on her, viciously.
Mickie lays on the canvas. Nitro grabs her feet, rolls her over onto her stomach, and puts her in the Boston Crab.
Mickie struggles to get to the ropes, but realized Nitro is too strong and too heavy to be dragged. She manages to push her face and chest off the mat, tuck in her chin, and push herself head first between his legs, and the hold is broken. But Johnny still has hold of her legs. She uses her abdominal strength to sit up, grab him by the hair and begin punching him with closed fist rights. Johnny lets go and stumbles back.
Mickie quickly makes it to her feet in time to catch a charging Nitro and give him an Arm Drag, and immediately slaps on an Arm Bar.
The Arm Bar doesn’t hold for very long as Johnny muscles his way out, climbs on top of her, and begins pounding her face with lefts and rights. Stopping right before the ref counted to five. The ref warns him he's on thin ice.
Johnny picks up Mickie and gives her a basic Suplex, then goes for the cover. Yet again, just a two count. Nitro drags her to the turnbuckle, and begins bashing her face into the top turnbuckle, releasing his grip on Mickie before the five count. He turns her around and begins another series of shoulder thrusts, again breaking it just barely before the count of five.
Nitro pulls Mickie out of the corner, lifts her up above his head, lowers her quickly rib first across his knee for a Rib Breaker. Then, without letting go, he repeats it.
As Mickie lays there facing up, Johnny begins stomping her, and gives her a few kicks to the ribs. The crowd really "booing" the hell out of Johnny. But Johnny just smiles and gets off on it like it's one big joke.
He grabs Mickie's hair, pulls her up to her feet, and whips her into the corner and follows it up with a splash.
Mickie, standing there like a zombie with Jello legs, takes two steps forward, and then falls back into the turnbuckle.
Nitro sits Mickie on the middle turnbuckle, and prepares to Suplex her from it, when Mickie thumbs him in the eye, causing him to stagger backward, momentarily blind. Mickie, already seated on the second rope turnbuckle, climbs her feet from the first rope to the second rope turnbuckle, while not once taking her eyes off of Johnny, jumps toward him and over him, grabbing his neck and chin in the process, and executing a Flipping Neck Breaker.
Mickie, completely exhausted, just lays there gasping for air, every part of her body aching.
Johnny holds his neck in pain, but then slowly makes it to his feet. He looks around for Mickie, but after a moment spots her laying face up on the mat.
Johnny, assuming that was Mickie's one and only last ditch effort to survive, decides to go for the cover. But as he leans in for the cover Mickie grabs him and rolls him up with an Inside Cradle. The ref barely counts to two when Nitro kicks out.
That shock revitalizes Nitro. Mickie, who had been playing possum, laying there catching her breath, quickly makes it to her feet. Johnny takes a step toward her and Mickie executes a beautiful Flipping Drop Kick, which knocks Johnny back; but not down.
Johnny recovers his balance and charges Mickie for a Shoulder Tackle, but Mickie uses a Drop Toe Hold to trip him up. She positions herself at his feet quickly and applies a Reverse Ankle Lock.
JR: Mickie James with an ankle lock on Nitro! She could have Nitro's number right here.
Mickie continues to apply pressure to his ankle trying with her might to snap it. Johnny, writhing in pain, crying out, and desperately struggling for the ropes, slowly inching his way to the ropes, all the while worrying that his ankle could break. The pain unbearable! He wants to tap, but that would mean losing the title, and having to lose to a girl. If he tapped right here, he'd never be able to live it down. He'd have to hang up his wrestling boots; he'd never be able to face the boys in the locker room again. Knocked unconscious and pinned is humiliating, but forgivable. Tapping out to a girl is just social suicide.
King: Johnny could tap at any moment! I've seen stronger, tougher men tap out to the ankle lock.
JR: We've seen Kurt Angle and Ken Shamrock submit hundreds of opponents with this very move.
But Johnny slowly made it to the ropes forcing Mickie to have to break the hold. The crowd jeers at this.
King: Awe! So close.
JR: I swear there for a minute, King, I thought Mickie might actually win this thing. Anyhow folks, we have to go to a commercial break, don't go anywhere, we'll be right back.
The ref gets between Mickie and Johnny to make sure Johnny is off of the ropes before Mickie makes contact again.
Johnny makes his way to his feet, barely able to put any pressure on the left ankle that Mickie nearly broke. The ref moves back and out of the way to let Mickie reestablish any kind of hold.
She grabs his head and gives him a European Uppercut, and another! She then presses his back into the ropes, and whips him to the opposite ropes, but Johnny reverses, sending Mickie into the ropes. Johnny charges forward, prepared to clothesline her, but Mickie on return from the ropes, jumps in the air, turns horizontal and slams into him with a Cross Body.
Neither Mickie nor Johnny was well received by this predicament: Mickie's height and momentum certainly took Nitro off of his feet, but due to Nitro's forward momentum and mass it also knocked Mickie back in the same direction she came from, and to the side. This basically caused a really nasty looking spin in the air and crash for Mickie. While Nitro fell to his back and slid across the ring. Both lay down on the mat with the wind knocked out of them.
The referee begins his ten count. Both Mickie and Johnny make it to their feet on nine.
Johnny steps towards Mickie. Mickie takes a large step forward, dropping to her knees and uses a Fireman's Carry Takedown. This sends Nitro flipping over her shoulders and landing on his back. But amazingly he's back on his feet in just a few short seconds.
He takes two fast steps toward Mickie in an attempt to grapple her, and Mickie bends forward, and bends her knees, then straightens up with spring-like force, and sends Johnny flying over her with a Back Body Drop. The crowd gives a major pop for this; as Johnny got great air time.
Johnny, amazingly, quick to get back on his feet, albeit wobbly and disoriented.
Mickie takes notice of this factor and gives him a hard kick to the gut. Now that Johnny is bent over, she hooks both of his arms behind his back, and delivers a text book Double Underhook Suplex.
JR: My God! Did you see that King?
King: I seen it, I seen it. But I still don't believe it.
JR: Mickie James not only pulled off the Double Underhook Suplex, but she did so with more force than I thought I'd ever see from any woman.
King: Johnny got air born like he was shot out of a cannon, flipped over, and landing face first!
JR: Welcome back folks. If you just joined us, we are in the middle of an intergender title match between Mickie James and Johnny Nitro. I am amazed that the match has lasted this long. I never would have thought Mickie James would have survived this long, and now here she is with the upper hand!
It wasn’t hype on the part of JR and the King; Mickie really did put an unbelievable amount of strength into that move. But it may have been too much of an effort. A couple more moves like that and she might tear a muscle, or dislocate something. That was what she was considering at the moment.
Johnny, still on instinct alone, makes it to his feet, turns around and walks right into a Mick Kick. Johnny, with a dazed look in his eye falls face first to the mat.
Mickie immediately goes back to work on his left leg with a Reverse Ankle Lock.
The pain shooting up from his ankle revitalizes his dazed brain. Johnny's eyes wide and frantic, looks for the ropes, and thankfully was right within reaching range. The ref forces Mickie to break the hold.
Mickie Begins a series of chops, uppercuts, forearms, and Haymakers.
The ref warns her to open her fists, and let him get off the ropes.
Mickie puts her hands up to show that she’s stopped striking, and takes one step back. She puts her hands down, and takes a step towards Nitro when she is caught by surprise and given a hardy Spine Buster.
Johnny, holding his sore face, staggers around the ring for a few seconds trying to regain some composure.
Mickie makes it back to her feet only to get Drop Kicked back down to the mat. This doesn’t keep her down at all. She springs back up! But unfortunately just in time to get scooped up by Johnny and placed into a shoulder breaker.
As soon as her butt hit the mat, Johnny, holding on to her hair, pulls her back up and does a Spinning Belly To Belly Suplex!
Ordinarily the crowd would have popped for a great move like this, but given the circumstances, Johnny received a deafening “Boo”. But Johnny wasn’t really concerned about the fans.
Mickie rolls over on to her stomach and tries to get up. Lacking the strength, she just lays there.
Johnny had no problem helping the little lady onto her feet, and up on his shoulders and then slammed back down to the mat via Death Valley Driver.
Johnny gives an arrogant smile and then goes for a casual cover.
King: I think this is it J-R.
JR: I believe you’re right, King. And Johnny going for the cover…
King: This is it!
But it wasn’t!
JR: Oh My God! She kicked out! She kicked out! I don’t believe it!
King: I don’t believe it either JR!
JR: Bi-gawd! This Mickie James is unbelievable!
King: But you have to wonder how much she has left.
JR: I can’t imagine much more, King.
Johnny Nitro is shocked. How in the hell she kicked out, was beyond him.
Johnny pulls her to her feet with rage. He whips her to the ropes, still holding on to her hand and running along side of her, knees her in the gut as she lands back-first into the ropes.
Mickie lays on her side, holding her stomach.
Johnny isn’t going for another pin, not until he knows she is through.
He picks her up to her feet, whips her to the corner, and follows it up with a Running Clothesline as her body ricochets from the turnbuckles. “This should be it!” He thinks to himself. But Johnny isn’t content. Not yet. He has to finish her off for good.
He grabs her by the head, puts her head between his legs, face down, bends over to grapple her waste, and yanks her up for a massive Powerbomb.
Johnny then covers her lifeless corpse. One… Two… but then he yanks her head up off the mat as he did once before. The referee begins yelling at him. Johnny completely ignoring the referee. Johnny is going to get revenge on behalf of Melina. Johnny is going to end this girl’s career.
She already lays down as if awaiting a body bag. Not a trace of consciousness in her. Johnny drags her lifeless body near the corner of the ring, and positions her diagonally so that she will be perfectly horizontal to him when he does his Frog Splash.
Johnny climbs to the top rope, signals to the audience that this is it. Standing straight up with a smile on his face, waving the crowd on to get a pop, all he got was jeers. None-the-less he jumps up, falls down perfectly on to Mickie just in time to experience his ribs bust against her knees!
Mickie James had gotten her knees up just in time.
Mickie takes a few seconds of deep breaths, and then makes it to her feet. She walks over to Johnny, who is laying curled up in the fetal position, pulls him up by the hair and strikes him with a closed fist. Instinctively Johnny returns one of his own. They exchange fist after fist. The ref asks both of them to open it up, but to no avail.
Each one teetering, and rocking, yet still standing on wobbly legs.
Mickie then begins a series of European Uppercuts, Forearms, and punches that backs him up into the ropes, and eventually knocking him out of the ring.
Johnny spills out onto the floor and Mickie follows in pursuit.
Mickie gets Johnny up on his feet, and then whips him into the stairs nearest the announce table. Johnny hits the steps with his knees and flips over the steps. Mickie, cold and calculating, grabs Johnny by the hair as he is getting up, and rams his face into the announce table.
King: Whoa! Careful guys, don't bring the fight over here.
JR: Mickie what are you doing? Get him off the table.
Mickie has set Johnny face up on the announcer's table. Johnny staring up at the ceiling, has no idea where he is at the moment.
Mickie gets back into the ring, and climbs to the top rope.
JR: Uh oh. I don't like where this is going King.
King: I don't either J-R, I think we better get out of here.
JR: I think your right.
King and JR move away from the announcer’s table. JR is hollering for Mickie to rethink this.
Mickie stands on the top rope looking down at Johnny Nitro sprawled out on the announcer’s table. She leaps into the air, adding an extra 3 feet of height, and sores through the air delivering an elbow drop to Johnny's chest! The table collapses immediately!
The crowd begins loudly chanting "holey sh!t holey sh!t holey sh!t"
JR: My God King! I can't believe what we just saw. Mickie James put her own body and that of Johnny Nitro's clear through our announcer’s table!
King: This doesn't look good J-R. Neither one of them is moving, and I see blood.
JR: I believe the blood we're seeing is coming from the head of Mickie James. The referee's begun a ten count, but I think he needs to call the match. We need to get a medical team down here to see if these two are still alive.
Mickie begins to move ever so slightly. The referee gets up to a four count when Mickie realizes where she is. She hears the “four” count, and tries to crawl to the ring, but her legs hurt so bad. A strange kind of hurt. She feels pain, and yet numbness.
“This is it.” Mickie thinks to herself. “It’s over. I can’t move. I can’t get back in the ring. I’m not even sure I can walk… ever!”
Mickie lays there completely dazed. She knows she has to make it in the ring. But she can’t, she just can’t.
Suddenly she sees Carlito in the ring, standing next to the ref. The ref’s voice is weak and distant, but Carlito’s voice somehow comes in loud and clear. “Mickie, I got to tell ya, that was cool. You flew through the air like a bird or a plane…”
“Or like Superman! Or Superwoman.” Says Shawn Michaels, who is suddenly standing next to Carlito in the ring.
“Hey Mickie” says Carlito, “You want an apple? I got a nice fresh one right here.” He holds out his hand with the apple. All Mickie has to do is crawl to the ring and grab the tasty apple.
“Hey Mickie! Over here.” Says a smiling Triple H suddenly standing in the ring. “Me and the boys have been talking it over, and we’ve decided to make you an official member of D-X.”
He holds up a DX shirt and continues “Once you put this shirt on, you are now and forever, a member of D-X. But you better hurry up Mickie! If the ref counts to ten, I have put the shirt away, and you can’t be a member. So hurry up! It’s yours Mickie! Just get in here before he counts to ten!”
“I’m praying for you Mickie.” Says Shawn Michaels, oddly enough dressed as a priest. “Dear Lord, I’m asking you that you give this woman, Mickie James, the strength to make it to the ring in time to be a member of D-X.” He then rambles on with some biblical verses.
“Yes! Yes I will make it. I’m going to be a member of D-X. And I’m getting that apple too!”
Using just her sore and slightly numb arms, she crawls towards the ring. She just got through hearing "seven" being called out by the referee.
She has a little more feeling in her legs now; mostly pain, but she can move them enough to aid in her movement towards the ring.
"Eight!"
She has her hand up on the bottom rope, pulls herself in right after the eighth count, only to suddenly realize there is no DX. There is no shirt. It was just a dream. “I’m not a member of D-X.” She says softly, with tears in her eyes.
“Nine!”
“Wait a minute!” She thinks to herself. “Title… Nine… Count out!”
She rolls out of the ring as the ref is saying “Te…” Not quite the full word “Ten”.
“Mickie! What are you doing? You had it!” Shouts the referee.
Mickie looks up at the ref, and with a blood stricken face, says "I have a belt to win."
The referee can only stare at her in amazement.
Mickie limps her way to Johnny, who is laying in the fetal position coughing up blood. Maybe his mouth is busted. Maybe he bit his tongue or got some teeth knocked out. Maybe he's broken some ribs, and those ribs have punctured through a lung. She doesn't know, and quite frankly she doesn't care. She is going to drag this sorry excuse for a man into the ring and pin him. Alive or dead, a three count is the title.
Mickie James dragging a nearly dead Johnny Nitro to the ring, shoves him under the ropes and into the ring, right after the eight count, and manages to get herself in by the beginning of the nine count.
She rolls Johnny over, climbs on top of him, and listens to the ref's count
One...
Two...
...And Johnny kicks out on the three!
"Did I get it!?" Shouts Mickie.
"No, that's two"
The referee had slammed his hand down on the mat for the three count right as Johnny's shoulders were coming off of the mat. In this situation, where it could go either way, it's strictly the active referee's decision. And unfortunately for Mickie, the ref said this was not a full three count.
At this moment tears streamed down her face, and she strained not to cry. So close. So close.
She decided to turn those tears into rage. Mounting Johnny she begins pounding him with rights and lefts as furiously as she can. She hadn't even realized the ref was giving her to the count of five to stop hitting him, and dismount him.
The ref grabs Mickie's hand. Mickie looks at him sharply.
"Mickie, that's five! I said break it!"
Mickie obliges. The ref could have disqualified her for not opening those fists and not stopping on the fifth count. But he also could have called that pin a three count. So he decided to let it go, to even the score.
Mickie removes herself from Johnny, wipes some of the blood off of her face and out of her eyes.
Johnny, shaking and shivering as he is nearly in a point of shock, crawls to the ropes, and climbs his way up to his feet.
Mickie grabs him around the waste from behind, and delivers a less than spectacular German Suplex. She just didn't have the strength to pull it off all the way. Johnny landed half on the back of his head, and half on top of Mickie.
They both slowly make it back to their feet at the same time.
Mickie strikes with a right hand. Johnny returns the favor. Mickie strikes again. Johnny strikes again. Mickie uses a closed right hand with all the strength she can muster. This knocks Johnny back a couple of steps, but he returns with a closed right hand with all the strength he can muster. This knocks Mickie down. But she pops right back up and delivers a chop to his chest. Johnny decides to return the favor. They each exchange a few more chops, with Johnny winning the chopping contest.
He has forced Mickie back into the ropes. He starts to charge her but she unleashes her Reverse Spinning Kick! This knocks Johnny silly. Johnny just stands there wobbling, not sure which way to fall. Mickie decides that she's going to have to make up his mind for him.
She climbs to the second rope, dives off towards him, landing on his shoulder, and in a fluid motion, turns this into her signature DDT with her body rolling right on top of him.
The referee counts
One...
Two...
Three!
The bell sounds!
“The winner, by pinfall, and new intercontinental champion. Mickie James!” Shouts the voice of Lilian Garcia.
The crowd erupts! One of the loudest ovations of all time.
The ref holds Mickie’s hand up. She then drops to her knees she can’t believe it! She actually won!
The referee presents her with the Intercontinental Championship Title Belt.
Tears fall from her eyes and she cuddles the Belt like it were a new born baby.
Then suddenly a loud voice says “are you ready?”
The DX music kicks in, and out they come. They are greeted well by the Richmond crowd.
DX makes their way to the ring. Triple H, with microphone in hand, says “Mickie, Congratulations on your victory and becoming the second woman ever in history to win the intercontinental championship. Me and the boys were discussing it, and well, you’re in. If you want to be a part of D-X, here’s your D-X shirt and it’s official.”
Mickie reaches out for the shirt, totally overwhelmed. She takes off her own shirt, revealing a very skimpy bra, to which the Richmond crowd pops for, and puts on the DX shirt. She hops up and down and says “Thank you thank you, oh this means so much to me!”
Shawn Michaels says “We decided since you’ve deeply expressed your desire to be a member of D-X, your membership would be the perfect gift to celebrate your monumental victory tonight.”
“Besides” says Carlito, “We figured it was safer to have you as a friend than an enemy.”
Shawn and Hunter frown at him for that. Carlito shrugs, the crowd laughs.
The DX music kicks in, and they all begin doing a typical DX pose together. Mickie looks right at home with the boys.
King: I can’t believe this J-R!
JR: Neither can I, King, neither can I.
King: And to think, she is only the second woman in all the history of the sport to hold the intercontinental title.
JR: And well earned I might add. It was a hell of a match, and Mickie proved she is a hell of a competitor here tonight. And this Richmond crowd is ecstatic to see their own, Mickie James, holding the title.
King: And to have D-X make her an official member!? Talk about dreams coming true.
JR: It was an unbelievable night! One for the history books, folks. But our time is up, we got to go!
-The End